Should I confess my sin? I'm scared.

[Claudia]

(This is an archived correspondence at The Path of Truth. We have sent notification to the correspondent.)


Hi i was led to your article about confession and i slept with my cousins boy friend about 8 years ago and im suddenly getting a burden to tell her she is now married with the guy and have twins . Should i still tell her im very scared and my whole family will go against me.if its really God giving me this feeling then i will do it im just scared of the consequences

[Paul Cohen]

Hi Claudia,

So you're telling us that you knowingly violated your cousin's relationship with a steady boyfriend? Was this your idea, his, or both? What happened afterwards? Was he regularly unfaithful to your cousin in other affairs? What about her?

What has your relationship with your cousin and her husband been like, before and after this episode?

What about yourself? Are you a new believer? Tell us more about your spiritual situation and background.

You can be very thankful for what's happening to you. It's a good thing to consider doing something that scares you if it's the right thing to do in the sight of God. That's all that matters - what He calls for in any given situation, which is for your good and the good of all, though it may not and will not be appreciated by those in the world. And He will certainly show you what to do here - it's His will to direct you in the way of life.

You have nothing to fear, Claudia - only to not pursue the Lord and His will all the way. The fear of Him is the beginning of wisdom and leads to life. The Lord give you the grace to believe and obey Him in whatever He says, which will bring you the peace that passes understanding - something not known by this world.

We will have more to say about your situation after you reply, Lord willing.

Paul

[Claudia]

Thank you for your reply. I knowingly did it. He pursued and i followed i was very young about 14 years old. Wasnt serving the Lord , i wasn't born again believer. We did something about three times. After wards everything was alright but we did stop hanging out like before it was always us three. I was at the time doing drugs and drinking. I dont know what he has done since then its been such a long time ago i am now 23 me and her barely talk and i have to communication with him at all for years.

As for me i got reborn again in july 2013 and ever since then God has been working on me. Took away all addictions and even helped me leave a five year relationship i was in. Im very grateful for everything the Lord has done i thought i was forgiven i just dont know why i have a burden to confess to her what happened they dont live for the Lord so it can get real bad and they will slander my name to the whole family. They wont understand why i confessed

[Paul Cohen and Victor Hafichuk]

So what you're telling us, Claudia, is that you were three unruly children doing your own thing without adult supervision, and now you feel you should apologize to your cousin for what you did with her boyfriend, who seduced you and you willingly complied?

If this is so, your cousin was also a minor and all of you were in the wrong. As for where you're at now, you've confessed and repented of your sin and are forgiven by the Lord. You can proceed without looking back. But if you can't go on in good conscience without asking forgiveness of your cousin, then we wouldn't try to stop you from confessing to her. In such a case you'll need to trust the Lord and leave the consequences to Him.

And whatever you do, if you're going to walk with the Lord you'll need to accept your name being slandered by people whose opinions have mattered too much to you. Consider what the Lord said to those who were following Him:

“And brother will deliver up brother to death, and the father his child. And the children shall rise up against their parents and cause them to be put to death. And you will be hated of all men for My Name's sake, but the one who endures to the end shall be kept safe” (Matthew 10:21-22 MKJV).

And haven't we all been scoundrels? Do any unbelievers truly know the half of how evil we've been? No. Why should we be afraid of what people say of us? We should openly confess that we've been dirty rotters. The crucial thing is that God knows what we've been and He has forgiven us. We now walk in the truth with Him and the blood of His Son cleanses us from all sin (1 John 1:7).

Also consider these words the Lord spoke to those who didn't believe (not saying you're one of these):

“How can you believe, you who receive honor from one another and do not seek the honor that comes from God only” (John 5:44 MKJV).

The Lord give you peace in knowing the truth and doing what is good in His sight, Claudia, by the faith He has planted in you. Don't be afraid - He's with you. Fear Him and you'll live and thrive. No one is able to hurt you - even if they were to kill you. The Lord went on to say in Matthew 10:

Matthew 10:28-32 ESV
(28) And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear Him Who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
(29) Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.
(30) But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.
(31) Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
(32) So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father Who is in heaven.

Are you still reading on our site and are you finding help there? Do you have spiritual elders? What counsel have they given you?

Do keep in touch. Let us know if you have further questions and about what happens there.

Paul and Victor

[Claudia]

Thank you very much for your help. I slept with her bf and he never told her i have such a burden to tell her i think its wrong that she doesn't know about it since they r still together and are married now. She will tell everyone in my family what i did and they might come to me and ask questions. My parents already act like they hate me so it might get worse there are big consequences if i confess but i cant hold it in any longer. I want to know if this is what the Lord wants i kno he has forgiven me thats to the cross but idk if its wrong for me to hold this in ...... i should have told her a long time ago

[Paul Cohen]

“i think its wrong that she doesn't know about it since they r still together and are married now.”

Claudia, are you telling your cousin about your affair with her boyfriend who seduced you because you wronged her, or because you think she should know about his waywardness?

And if they hadn't stayed together and gotten married, are you suggesting you wouldn't need to tell her? If so, is this really about confessing your sin?

Paul

[Claudia]

Because i sinned against her and it was ruining my peace with God it already has been done and went well God was with me

[Claudia]

I worries about because the holy spirit was convicting me to tell her

[Paul Cohen]

OK, Claudia, good to hear how the Lord has taken care of things for you. Thank Him and go on from there.

Paul

[Claudia]

Thank you for your counsel , God bless you

[Paul Cohen and Victor Hafichuk]

Go on; the Lord is working with you and is faithful.

Victor and Paul