Greetings all!
I write this with a heavy heart. I've read quite a few posts and teaching on this site, so I felt comfortable to share my heart in hopes of godly counsel. For in the multitude of counselors there is safety. So.. The Lord commands that we are too hate our life in this world. Does that include hating our life once we turn to him? How long does this last, until our physical death? Or until our new birth? If a wife hates being married does she stay married through the misery to please the Lord, or forsake married life to follow Christ alone? I believe my marriage is just too damaged to stand, but who am I to make such a judgment.
except a man hate his life...
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Marquita Smith
Re: except a man hate his life...
And feel free to ask me whatever. I'm pretty transparent, I just didn't write too detailed because it's Sooo much and I'm typing on a phone while caring for two children..
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Paul Cohen
Re: except a man hate his life...
Hi Marquita, welcome to the website and forum,
Here's what the Lord said about us hating our own lives:
“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:26 MKJV).
Hating your own life goes in hand in hand with following Jesus Christ - being His disciple. Following Him, you’ll have eternal life - not just after physical death, but even now, because you're with Him:
“If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there also My servant shall be. If anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him” (John 12:26 MKJV).
“He who loves his life shall lose it. And he who hates his life in this world shall keep it to life eternal” (John 12:25 MKJV).
So, following the Lord equates to hating our lives in this world, because we’re identifying with Him and His interests above our own and the things of this world. You need to know that the hate the Lord is talking about isn't a matter of finding your life distasteful or hard, which many people do without faith or profit, but of taking up the cross and following Him.
“But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world” (Galatians 6:14 EMTV).
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, Who loved me, and gave Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20 KJV).
That’s the hate the Lord is talking about – being crucified with Him, living by His faith and having no other gods before Him.
For a practical example of what this hate looks like, consider when the Lord's mother and brothers came to retrieve Him because they thought He was “out of His mind.”
Mark 3:21-35 ESV
(21) And when His family heard it, they went out to seize Him, for they were saying, "He is out of his mind."
(22) And the scribes who came down from Jerusalem were saying, "He is possessed by Beelzebul," and "by the prince of demons He casts out the demons."
(23) And He called them to him and said to them in parables, "How can Satan cast out Satan?
(24) If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand.
(25) And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.
(26) And if Satan has risen up against himself and is divided, he cannot stand, but is coming to an end.
(27) But no one can enter a strong man's house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man. Then indeed he may plunder his house.
(28) "Truly, I say to you, all sins will be forgiven the children of man, and whatever blasphemies they utter,
(29) but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin"--
(30) for they had said, "He has an unclean spirit."
(31) And His mother and His brothers came, and standing outside they sent to Him and called Him.
(32) And a crowd was sitting around Him, and they said to Him, "Your mother and Your brothers are outside, seeking You."
(33) And He answered them, "Who are My mother and My brothers?"
(34) And looking about at those who sat around Him, he said, "Here are My mother and my brothers!
(35) Whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother."
The Lord didn’t despise His family on a carnal level - He hated them by identifying with His Father. Where the world and Jesus’ personal interests came into conflict with His connection to the Father, there was no contest. He didn’t come to follow, hate, or destroy the world and save His life, but to save the world and lose His life by taking up the cross. The same goes for us as believers.
Does this answer your questions on the matter?
You also say you’re not happy in your marriage. Here is what the Lord would have you know and do (another example of how we are to hate our lives in this world):
1 Corinthians 7:23-31 MKJV
(23) You are bought with a price, do not be the slaves of men.
(24) Each in whatever way he was called, brothers, in this remain with God…
(27) Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife…
(29) But this I say, brothers, The time is short. It remains that both those who have wives should be as not having one.
(30) And they who weep are as though they did not weep. And they who rejoice are as though they did not rejoice. And they who buy are as though they did not possess.
(31) And they who use this world are as not abusing it, for the fashion of this world is passing away.
“Do not seek to be free.” As you submit yourself in the Lord to your situation, He will work things from the inside out. It’s all about you – not your husband. It’s how you conduct yourself towards God and man that determines where you are and where you end up.
“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as is becoming in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18 MKJV).
Can you honestly say you’ve been this way, Marquita? You’re right – it’s not up to you to make the judgment call on what will happen to your marriage, but as you seek the Lord to do His will, honoring your husband and obeying God above all else, you will see His salvation that you’ve not had till now. And you’ll know that you needed your circumstances to have that salvation worked out in you.
In a letter to us you report: “My husband said there are no believers on the internet because if they're true believers they don't need to be up there.”
Can you disagree respectfully, giving your husband some reasonable argument to consider, for his sake? Have you asked him why he thinks Paul and other apostles wouldn’t have used the internet to get the Word out? Didn’t they write the Scriptures to distribute them far and wide? Didn’t the Lord commission them to preach to the whole world?
Doesn’t your husband realize that the printing press, invented by Gutenberg, made printing and distributing the Bible affordable and universal? Should believers not have used this marvelous tool for making the Word of God available to all? Isn’t that partially how we all received the Word of God? Wouldn’t the same go for the internet?
Yes, there’s a lot of garbage on the net, but the same goes for many printed materials. Do we therefore throw out all books?
Does your husband know you’re here? Can you share our website with him, to let him know what you’re reading? Could you sit down and read something together, going over the Scriptures and teaching the Lord has given us?
Finally, did you see the video Victor posted here yesterday? Check it out and consider the message – it may help you adjust your perspective.
http://www.israelvideonetwork.com/the-h ... ion-u-i-r/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Here's what the Lord said about us hating our own lives:
“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:26 MKJV).
Hating your own life goes in hand in hand with following Jesus Christ - being His disciple. Following Him, you’ll have eternal life - not just after physical death, but even now, because you're with Him:
“If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there also My servant shall be. If anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him” (John 12:26 MKJV).
“He who loves his life shall lose it. And he who hates his life in this world shall keep it to life eternal” (John 12:25 MKJV).
So, following the Lord equates to hating our lives in this world, because we’re identifying with Him and His interests above our own and the things of this world. You need to know that the hate the Lord is talking about isn't a matter of finding your life distasteful or hard, which many people do without faith or profit, but of taking up the cross and following Him.
“But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world” (Galatians 6:14 EMTV).
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, Who loved me, and gave Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20 KJV).
That’s the hate the Lord is talking about – being crucified with Him, living by His faith and having no other gods before Him.
For a practical example of what this hate looks like, consider when the Lord's mother and brothers came to retrieve Him because they thought He was “out of His mind.”
Mark 3:21-35 ESV
(21) And when His family heard it, they went out to seize Him, for they were saying, "He is out of his mind."
(22) And the scribes who came down from Jerusalem were saying, "He is possessed by Beelzebul," and "by the prince of demons He casts out the demons."
(23) And He called them to him and said to them in parables, "How can Satan cast out Satan?
(24) If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand.
(25) And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.
(26) And if Satan has risen up against himself and is divided, he cannot stand, but is coming to an end.
(27) But no one can enter a strong man's house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man. Then indeed he may plunder his house.
(28) "Truly, I say to you, all sins will be forgiven the children of man, and whatever blasphemies they utter,
(29) but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin"--
(30) for they had said, "He has an unclean spirit."
(31) And His mother and His brothers came, and standing outside they sent to Him and called Him.
(32) And a crowd was sitting around Him, and they said to Him, "Your mother and Your brothers are outside, seeking You."
(33) And He answered them, "Who are My mother and My brothers?"
(34) And looking about at those who sat around Him, he said, "Here are My mother and my brothers!
(35) Whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother."
The Lord didn’t despise His family on a carnal level - He hated them by identifying with His Father. Where the world and Jesus’ personal interests came into conflict with His connection to the Father, there was no contest. He didn’t come to follow, hate, or destroy the world and save His life, but to save the world and lose His life by taking up the cross. The same goes for us as believers.
Does this answer your questions on the matter?
You also say you’re not happy in your marriage. Here is what the Lord would have you know and do (another example of how we are to hate our lives in this world):
1 Corinthians 7:23-31 MKJV
(23) You are bought with a price, do not be the slaves of men.
(24) Each in whatever way he was called, brothers, in this remain with God…
(27) Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife…
(29) But this I say, brothers, The time is short. It remains that both those who have wives should be as not having one.
(30) And they who weep are as though they did not weep. And they who rejoice are as though they did not rejoice. And they who buy are as though they did not possess.
(31) And they who use this world are as not abusing it, for the fashion of this world is passing away.
“Do not seek to be free.” As you submit yourself in the Lord to your situation, He will work things from the inside out. It’s all about you – not your husband. It’s how you conduct yourself towards God and man that determines where you are and where you end up.
“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as is becoming in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18 MKJV).
Can you honestly say you’ve been this way, Marquita? You’re right – it’s not up to you to make the judgment call on what will happen to your marriage, but as you seek the Lord to do His will, honoring your husband and obeying God above all else, you will see His salvation that you’ve not had till now. And you’ll know that you needed your circumstances to have that salvation worked out in you.
In a letter to us you report: “My husband said there are no believers on the internet because if they're true believers they don't need to be up there.”
Can you disagree respectfully, giving your husband some reasonable argument to consider, for his sake? Have you asked him why he thinks Paul and other apostles wouldn’t have used the internet to get the Word out? Didn’t they write the Scriptures to distribute them far and wide? Didn’t the Lord commission them to preach to the whole world?
Doesn’t your husband realize that the printing press, invented by Gutenberg, made printing and distributing the Bible affordable and universal? Should believers not have used this marvelous tool for making the Word of God available to all? Isn’t that partially how we all received the Word of God? Wouldn’t the same go for the internet?
Yes, there’s a lot of garbage on the net, but the same goes for many printed materials. Do we therefore throw out all books?
Does your husband know you’re here? Can you share our website with him, to let him know what you’re reading? Could you sit down and read something together, going over the Scriptures and teaching the Lord has given us?
Finally, did you see the video Victor posted here yesterday? Check it out and consider the message – it may help you adjust your perspective.
http://www.israelvideonetwork.com/the-h ... ion-u-i-r/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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Marquita Smith
Re: except a man hate his life...
Thank you Paul. Many of the same scriptures came to me after I posted and was waiting for a response. I believe I truly need grace because I acknowledge those things you shared are true, it's just waiting on the Lord to actually help me through it is probably my biggest problem. He doesn't know that I've been on the site (and I feel horrible for keeping it from him), but in my spirit I KNEW it was the truth I was reading. I will address that with him too because I believe he will truly benefit from it. Many things that he has said to me I have found confirmed in the teachings on your site. And you are so right, is how I am towards the Lord, which I can honestly say I have been falling short. Keep us in your prayers. I read the vashti-esther transmutation, and the conviction is real, I have NOT been the way I should have in the aiight of the king. Thank you again for your sound counsel and the truth you continue to share in the Lord. May the Lord Jesus bless you brother.