The Voice of God?

[Gabriel Secrist]

Victor hears the Lord's voice. I'm not entirely sure I have. The Lord has spoken to me through tongues and interpretations from others, but it was only to prove His presence to me when I asked if He was there, I received no specific instruction.

About 10 years ago, I received a command from something like an internal voice - the likes of which have deceived me before such that I disregarded any voice until they went away. However, the command periodically returns to haunt me. I was asked to do something very personal and excruciatingly difficult that was amoral in and of itself and would have no impact on anyone other than myself.

However, that "command" has come to mind periodically ever since and I still can't bear to do it without knowing with some reasonable certainty that it was God I heard and not some devil toying with me. I figure if it was God, He would give me the strength, yes? I can neither frustrate nor prevent the fulfillment of His perfect will, so do I fret meaninglessly?

I have no additional context beyond the fact that it came to me while praying as a "member" of an offshoot of Mystery, Babylon. I probably wasn't even praying to the god I intended. I was still unsure at the time who I was supposed to pray to of the three who were one yet three blah blah blah. I like to think that if I heard the voice of God, it would be immediately recognizable, or at least somehow different from the myriad voices to which I'm accustomed.

There is such an urgency in me, a desperation for the Lord. Perhaps my cross is simply to wait. Victor's testimony was striking to me, as I had the same experience as he did when I was four, in that I asked my parents if I could die because I wanted to be with God (although I didn't follow with that explanation and they were worried they had a suicidal toddler for a short time before forgetting about it).

I've sought Him all my life, that I can recall. But I'm a wretched person guilty of the most vile sins I can imagine. I need Him so desperately. I can't imagine He would place such a longing for Him in my heart, save me repeatedly from near certain death (the only bone I ever broke was my C2 vertebrae in my neck, after which the Dr told me 98% of people with that sort of damage die), and guide me this far only to leave me wanting.

I'm so lost and so desperate. I read this website with the full awareness that my eternal destiny depends on it. I struggle to read the Bible for how opaque it is to me. I know I lack the Spirit. Please help.

[Victor Hafichuk]

Gabriel, have you not recognized the Pearl of Great Price here?

[Gabriel Secrist]

I suppose I have not! Please expound!

[Simon Hall]

Gabriel, in this forum thread you say, “But I'm a wretched person guilty of the most vile sins I can imagine”, and in the other forum thread that you started titled “Not I, but Christ”, you say, “I am guilty, worthy of nothing but condemnation”.
In the “Not I, but Christ” thread you also say that you are struggling quietly, reading and learning.

Have you read Repentance from The Path of Truth teachings, yet? If not, maybe you should start there, followed by Confession of Sin. And if you have read those two teachings already, have you started doing what they tell you to do?

Once you’ve read those, and Lord willing, are working on actioning the truths in them, maybe you should read the section called The Restitution of All Things, if you haven’t already. There are many wonderful truths in there.

[Gabriel Secrist]

Thank you for the recommendations, Simon. As of this morning, I have read every TPOT teaching recommended to me thus far in addition to dozens of others. I’d always been open in confession to my wife of anything I did wrong, but it was reading from this site that inspired me to confess to her everything that I had thought that was wrong, so I could truly say to her that I’m hiding nothing. I’ve repented of many things, but I could easily write a novel of the many sins that plague me still.

What bothers me the most is that I’ve always known that God is real and Jesus Christ is risen, yet I’m only recently coming to see that I am indeed lacking the Spirit within! That’s horrifying to me!! So please, give me guidance! I will happily write said novel and do whatever it takes to make things right! I need the Spirit in my life more than anything!

[Victor Hafichuk]

Gabriel, read about Cornelius and his house, Acts 10, and the Ephesian disciples, Acts 19.

[Gabriel Secrist]

Please forgive my lack of understanding, but I read the sections of Acts.

Cornelius was an upright man, one who pleased the Lord. I know I am sorely lacking in righteousness, as I'm plagued by my own weaknesses. I park improperly, escaping the consequences and justifying it by my unique circumstances. I struggle financially because of my poor choices. I indulge in movies without regard for their content. I utterly fail every attempt I make to fast. I desperately seek the sort of guidance Cornelius recieved, yet I am so far from righteous I could hardly hope for it.

In Acts 12, it seems that God responded to the fervent prayers of the saints who were praying even as Peter was knocking on their door.

The only commonality I see between these two passages is passionate seeking and prayer. I admit, my prayers have suffered, in a sense, since I began reading here. I've become more hesitant to pray, painfully aware of the magnitude of my own ignorance on the subject. I worry about being presumptuous, foolish, blasphemous, or otherwise wrong. Every prayer I've prayed since has been only to ask for what I believe is in accordance with His will, and that is for the blessing of His indwelling Spirit, a right heart, and faith.

I was hesitant to contact you for several weeks as I read, not wanting to ask questions that were already answered. But the inclination to reach out for guidance only grew until I finally reached out. I don't want to say I'm disheartened, but thus far I remain shrouded in confusion and desperation. I believe that our God is singular, that Jesus Christ is God in the flesh, resurrected from the dead. I was extremely relieved to learn that my severely disabled son will not be relegated to eternal punishment simply for inability to comprehend the Word of God.

Perhaps my heart is wrong. I long for the best God has promised to His children; His Spirit in me, my name in His Book of Life, to be a pillar in His temple, to serve Him eternally, to battle alongside Him at Armageddon, to live a life free of sin, to bear fruit for His glory in this life, perhaps even to die the honorable death of a martyr. Do these desires make me selfish? Do I yearn for something I cannot have? How much am I supposed to try to be righteous? Paul's letters were to saints, of whom I am clearly not. But Cornelius was saintly (if that is the proper application of the term) prior to having the Spirit. Am I just a failure? Should I just continue in my best efforts and hope that if God doesn't select me, that perhaps my second death might be less painful?

Perhaps I am far off from your intentions. I don't even know what to ask for. I guess I see Light here, and I seem to grasp it as effectively as if I were attempting to grab hold of the wind.

[Gabriel Secrist]

I have begun reading through forum posts, as opposed to just teachings. I see my situation is hardly unique. I'm seeking, asking, and knocking. I am confident that the Lord will respond, somehow.

Maybe it's His will that I die in a fire tomorrow. Maybe He would have me truly come to know Him 50 years from now. Whatever His plan, I'll just proceed as best I can, albeit somewhat aimlessly. I don't know how to receive the guidance He's already provided, but I trust His will and timing.

-Gabriel

[Isaiah Dillard]

Gabriel,

Something I've always struggled with, and by God's mercy and grace, He is teaching me how to do, is walk by faith:

2 Corinthians 5:7 KJ21
For we walk by faith, not by sight.

Our overthinking and trying to figure things out is what gets in the way in a true walk of faith with The Lord. Our minds are in opposition to God:

Romans 8:6-7 KJ21
6 For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace,
7 because the carnal mind is enmity against God, for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be


It is impossible for you to defeat the flesh and you are trying to figure it out, which is going to leave you miserable and in hell. I've been there, and thankful to The Lord he pulled me out, but I warn from anybody having to go there.

You no longer have to search for The Truth, as He is here, The Lord Jesus Christ, leading His prophet and servants for the sake of His people. Throw away preconceived notions of what you've learned previously, and know that everything taught here is from The Lord, and any teaching in opposition is not from The Lord. Be ready to tear down the idols of false doctrine, false love and what you think God wants: and believe what The Lord is teaching through His servants.

Just as a little child trusts all that their parents tells them to do, even though they don't understand, so it is in the Kingdom of God:

Matthew 11:25 KJ21
At that time Jesus answered and said, “I thank Thee, O Father, Lord of Heaven and earth, because Thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.

Keep reading and Victor stated, "Trust the Lord; Obey".

[Victor Hafichuk]

Gabriel, keep going and if you endure, the Lord will purge you of error and wrongful motives. The Truth will make you free.

[Gabriel Secrist]

Thank you. I certainly believe all I have read here so far and continue to read and pray as often as I can. I'm letting go of my fears and trusting that the Lord will reveal Himself to me whenever He desires.

In the mean time, I will read, learn, and seek Him as I continue waiting for the Lord to deliver me from my ignorance, lack of faith, and carnality. If I may have the Spirit within someday, what a blessed and THRILLING day that will be!!

[Rochelle Millan]

According to what Victor said.
have you not recognized the Pearl of Great Price here?

Yes Indeed it is here.

Blessed is he(Victor)who comes in the name of the Lord!

Rochelle Millan