Hi everyone,
Victor asked me to post my recent correspondence with him so you could all read it and comment on it.
This is what I wrote to Victor:
Hi, Victor.
I am here to express my gratitude for you being here. I know; I should be thanking God for everything that happened in my life and I do, everytime the feeling gets me I thank Him, for everything He does to me, both Good and Evil, at least I try to keep up doing that with everything He does.
Yet, it is you through whom He works in certain part of my life too. The words and counsel that He speaks to me through you are precious to me and I know they are true. And I believe that you are the prophet. I actually believed that you are a man of God from the moment that God acknowledged me about it. And now, your latest video about you being the prophet has just confirmed it.
There are days I feel ashamed writing to you; not everything works well in my life the way I would like it to be. I confessed to you many things and if there is still something left to confess I hope Our God will grant me the opportunity to say them all. But, as you said it to me before "One thing at the time".
I filed my resignation from working in the warehouse the past week. Lord granted me to do that after I read the story of Kelechi; Dennison's ex-friend. I saw the way that Kelechi looked at his life after hearing about repentance; he was looking for a sign from God to make sure that it was the time for him to turn away from what he wanted to achieve to be with the Lord - he even included the fact that he tried to "mess his grades up" at his school to make sure that he will leave it all behind. But the opposite happened and it was the sign for Him to not to turn away from what he wanted.
And at that moment I realized that it was similar to my attitude and after a hard time making a desicion I decided to quit working at the place, having no other working place to go to, without further preparation, I just decided to quit for His sake, because you said it was a buisness runned by the Satan. And so God finally granted me to do that. I felt I really am doing the leap of faith, jumping of the cliff without the parachute. It was a job where I was secure, wasn't bullied, felt good with people working with and I waited for the "perfect moment" to quit. But then, I just quit. Just like that.
I am also quitting working at the warehouse because of the woman I lusted after, I try my best to avoid her. Even though there are feelings of craving for her sometimes, I know that she is not for me and I truly want to let it go.
It does not go well with porn, though. I gained my straight week streak of no porn/masturbation/orgasm orgasm and I felt so well; I wasn't interested to do any of the stuff, nor sexually craving for women, I was so glad I thanked the Lord that it was over. But then, I found myself watching video game streamers compilation films on YT, including large breasted girls and women and before I realized I was back into porn again. It has been over a week now since I relapsed and I still cannot find the strength back I had before it happened again. After that I decided to quit my interest in video games in general to prevent this from happening again in the future.
Again, I found myself sexually craving after specific women at work. And I know it is from porn. Since that happened I started to beg my Lord from taking the porn problem from me again, with no answer so far. I know I cannot do it with my strength, with my own will, I tried and I failed, everytime. Only He can deliever me from this.
On top of that, my parents are coming for New Years Eve this year and I really don't want to see them but I still cant find the courage to tell them that. I hate them and the things they do, even though they are my parents they are a part of the evil buisness of that guy Popko. I find it really hard t do that, I am scared of them, scared of what they will say or think about me. I hate it and I hate myself for it.
I am weak. Weak and dirty-minded fool. I am not worthy of being with God. Yet, I feel like He is calling me out. He made me believe in Him and to trust Him. I know I have to turn away and repent. I know I have to both confess and forsake all my sins to be with Him, take up the cross. And I also know that only He can make it happen and that all I have to do is to trust Him. Stop assuming things my way, trust Him and wait.
It's hard though. Hard and tiring. I wanted to let you know about all of that, Victor. That, and the fact that I constantly want to keep in touch with you as much as possible, as well as be a part of your society with you and all the saints that are a part of it. But there are so many fears and doubts, not counting the sins I still have to forsake and turn away from, the ones that distract me, and the fact I am extremely shy. It all kind of blocks my path to do that. I am aware of my English language limits too and am constantly afraid to be left behind you guys because of that. All I can do is to trust the Lord and wait. Patiently wait for His Answers. And write to you and read your words, whenever I can.
Thank you for everything, once again. I am happy for having you in my life.
Bart
This is how Victor replied:
Bart, keep coming out; keep doing what you know you need to do and don’t quit or faint. If you fall, get up and go again. Stay away from any influences and appearance of evil, always, everywhere, especially in the thought world.
“But then, I found myself watching video game streamers compilation films on YT…” Bad move.
Who is Popko? Had you mentioned him to me?
Never mind your English; you’re doing well. As to participation, contact Ronnie@ThePathofTruth.com and join our Forum. He may also send you correspondence from time to time. Spend time at our site every chance you get, be it writings, YouTube songs, talk videos, or whatever.
When you obey, you will have nothing to fear. Our fears grow out of disobedience, a condemnation in our conscience that accuses us because we keep ourselves from God.
You will see Kelechi perish and maybe Dennison, too.
I’m sharing this with elders for your sake. I do hope you don’t mind. If you do, you have a problem.
V.
And here's my reply:
Thank you for your response,
I don't mind sharing my emails with anyone; if it is for my sake than ok, I trust you V.
There are days that I really want to give it up but I know that it's not worth it at all and all I need is His Strength that will allow me to take care of my problems as well as change of my heart, which only He can do. I really have the feeling that nothing in the world is worth to do or to have if it does not contain the true contact with Him, yet I find myself in many situations that make me keep sinning. But I know that He has everything under control and all I need to do is to trust Him. I don't want to give up. Let the Lord decide what He wants to do with me.
Yes Victor, Jan Popko is the sorcerer that dragged my parents into his mess, his art of checking all kinds of thing from the "spiritual level" using the pendulum and scale. Do you remember? I asked my father under your request to check you on different scales.
I hardly ever had opportunity to practice my English with natives from any English speaking country, I was mainly typing to people through text chat and I used my English here to communicate with people in Iceland but they are not native English speakers here so I cannot count that. Either way, I think it actually is the best opportunity to start practicing it with you, instead of hiding I should make finally that step forward to learn how to speak it properly. I shall have no excuses this time.
You said "You will see Kelechi perish and maybe Dennison, too.", may I ask why Dennison? Is there something wrong going on with him too?
I am looking forward to talk to you and others more. Thank you for today's councel.
Bart.
After that, he asked me to share it with you. So, here it is.
"When you obey, you will have nothing to fear."
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- Posts: 2
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- Location: Reykjavik, Iceland
Re: "When you obey, you will have nothing to fear."
Hi Bart,
I do not professed to know anything. But whenever I face similar situation, the Lord will remind me of the following verses:
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9)
I think we need to practice godliness. Practice means actual practice.
Tony
I do not professed to know anything. But whenever I face similar situation, the Lord will remind me of the following verses:
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9)
I think we need to practice godliness. Practice means actual practice.
Tony
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- Posts: 2
- Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 1:12 pm
- Location: Reykjavik, Iceland
Re: "When you obey, you will have nothing to fear."
Hello Tony, thank you for your response!
Recently the Lord made it clear to me, that even if He gives me things that give me pleasure, for example the video games I always wanted to play, songs that I have been looking for ages, my car, anything, soon I would need to realize that I would need to let it all go to be with Him; all my love and attachment to all the things I wanted and the people I like, the lifestyle I pursued, plans I had, dreams, my talents that I could develop (thanks to which I finally could feel like I am someone) and the thought that I could change anything with my own understanding and depending on the ways of the world to achieve that - I need to let it all go! Let it all go and do the things that He wants me to do, to practice the godliness that He is speaking about.
I already quit playing games and listening to the music I liked, as well as I am quitting working in that company that is poisoning people. Instead, I am listening to the music that Lord composed through Victor, available on TPOT. I don't understand them all yet, but few of them already opened up my eyes to few things already. And I am so greatful to God for that! I hope He will take all the things that burden me and that He will let me follow Him. The way that He wants it. I still don't see, nor understand many things, there are alot of things that I do wrong but I can't deal with them myself; I want to put my trust in Him.
God bless you, Tony! Thank you again.
Thank you for this passage, that's what I needed at the moment I read it.Tony Tan wrote:Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8-9)
I think we need to practice godliness. Practice means actual practice.
Recently the Lord made it clear to me, that even if He gives me things that give me pleasure, for example the video games I always wanted to play, songs that I have been looking for ages, my car, anything, soon I would need to realize that I would need to let it all go to be with Him; all my love and attachment to all the things I wanted and the people I like, the lifestyle I pursued, plans I had, dreams, my talents that I could develop (thanks to which I finally could feel like I am someone) and the thought that I could change anything with my own understanding and depending on the ways of the world to achieve that - I need to let it all go! Let it all go and do the things that He wants me to do, to practice the godliness that He is speaking about.
I already quit playing games and listening to the music I liked, as well as I am quitting working in that company that is poisoning people. Instead, I am listening to the music that Lord composed through Victor, available on TPOT. I don't understand them all yet, but few of them already opened up my eyes to few things already. And I am so greatful to God for that! I hope He will take all the things that burden me and that He will let me follow Him. The way that He wants it. I still don't see, nor understand many things, there are alot of things that I do wrong but I can't deal with them myself; I want to put my trust in Him.
God bless you, Tony! Thank you again.