The Path of Truth Forum

Victor Hafichuk,

I believe, after reading your proof texts, that you have a firm grasp of the Truth. I repented of my sins in a godly manner after realizing that the Lord suffered for my wickedness; I believe I was converted as a love for people and a hunger for the Word was almost immediately manifested in my life. Most of my sins fell away but lust remained with me, the scars of long years indulging in pornography, and I was soon overcome by my weak will. I tired of the fight and went backward into my sin.

I'm desperately trying to return to God, repenting as best I know how and pursuing Him through fervent reading of the Word but I feel like He's through with me. Scriptures like Hebrews 6:1-8 paint a grim picture of hopelessness for the backslidden. Is there any reconciliation between Scriptures like "If we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us" or "yoy will find Me, if you seek Me with all your heart" and verses like Heb 6:1-8, which seem to describe the unpardonable sin? How can know unequivocally that he or she has committed it? Are there testimonies of persons who were truly converted returning to God after going back into a sinful life? Please respond...

Hi Chris,

I don't believe you fit the bill as you word it here: “Are there testimonies of persons who were truly converted returning to God after going back into a sinful life? Please respond...”

I have known people to be truly converted to Jesus Christ and turn back to a life of sin, never to return to the Lord. I have never known of one to be truly converted to the Lord, turn back to a life of sin, and then return to God.

Understand, Chris, turning from the Lord after being saved is different from having sinned without making a conscious decision to turn away from the Lord. Christians are capable of sinning, as were the Corinthians, for example, but it doesn't mean they necessarily turned on, and made a definite break with, Christ. Not that I encourage you to overlook or cave in to your sin at the same time as professing faith in Christ. That would never do; God wouldn't tolerate it.

The Corinthians were wayward, yes, but willfully evil, no, or Paul wouldn't have bothered trying to correct them and have them put away all sin from their company.

However, a Christian can choose to be willfully evil. From what I can tell, you weren't even wayward since your conversion; you were still bound to your tyrannical sin of lust against your will because of having so given yourself over to the evil in the past. As a man sows, he must reap.

In your case, the Lord will work with you as you believe and obey Him. Even if wayward, you can be corrected and the Lord does correct such. But if one willfully turns to living in sin after knowing better, there's no hope that I know, not in this life.

However, we know there's hope in worlds to come, for ultimately, the Lord will bring all men out of destruction, as the Scriptures testify.

Understand that those who willfully turn away from God after being saved have no interest whatsoever in returning to Him. But you seem to have a desire for the Lord as a result of your conversion from what I can tell. There is something good working in you, Chris. God hasn't cast you off or you simply wouldn't care, just as you see others in the world not caring.

However, your long history of indulging in sexual lust, namely porn, has had severe and lasting effects on you that only the Lord can heal, which He will in due time, according to your faith.

From what you report, you have had your conversion to the Lord, which is His doing, which is wonderful, Chris. I don't see that you have turned against Him, though your sexual sin has you bound, as it has with many, but keep on after the Lord, believe Him and obey wherever and however you're able. You certainly have hope, if you endure. When you fall, get up and go again; you'll only fail if you decide not to get back up.

When the Lord knows your time in prison is done and you have paid the last farthing, you will be released. Just be sure you have “good behavior” going for you during your stay in prison or your debt and bondage will certainly be prolonged with attendant consequences and suffering.Hi

“Truly I say to you, You shall by no means come out from there until you have paid the last farthing” (Matthew 5:26 MKJV).

I would like to hear more of your conversion - exactly what happened, when and how. Are you free to share?

Victor

Yes, Victor, I am free to share. However, I DID walk away. I was tired of failing God and just resigned myself to my fate. I couldn't crucify my desire and was tired if making excuses to justify my pursuit of my lusts. I walked into grosser sins but was EMPTY! I couldn't fill the void in my life abd couldn't enjoy anything. I missed the presence of the Lord and secretly desired God to intervene in my life in any way He saw fit.

Now, I realize how much He means to me, and desire to be reconciled; I'm willing to fight my sin tooth and nail, and have been, denying myself, purging my mind of wrong thoughts and filling my mind with Scripture but it all feels like flesh. I know what it is to be converted and this feels like religiosity. My hope is fading to nothing; has God cast me aside? Is there any hope for me?

Chris, Paul here.

You're in religious delusion. You have never known and don't know the first thing about God and until you come to this recognition, you'll continue in false knowledge and the feelings it breeds. You make it sound like you're more zealous to reconcile to God than He is to reconcile you to Himself. That's a huge lie, making you more righteous than God. He will bring you to your senses after you've suffered enough, and then you'll know and honor Him as your Lord and Savior, all of Whose judgments are right and true.

Also, you've not answered Victor's request to hear more about your conversion - “what exactly happened when and how.”

Ok. This are the details of my conversion. I was a big, intimidating, mean spirited, arrogant bully, into body building with a good paying job as a site manager. My brother wrote a book about Jesus called "Redefining Love" and asked me to proofread it before shipping it off to editors to publish. He gave me the finished draft and I uploaded it onto my office computer. I would glance at it from time to time but soon it started to grab me; the illustrative manner he used and personal anecdotes struck a chord with me and soon I was totally engrossed by it. Reading about how Jesus Christ suffered and died for me gripped and convicted me. The Holy Spirit made it personal; Jesus died FOR ME! I grieved because of my wickedness and repented, weeping bitterly, crying out to God for forgiveness! He responded!! I can't quite explain what happened next: something broke in me and God flooded my soul with peace and joy. It felt like someone scrubbed my soul with bleached steel bristle brush. I was clean and forgiven. I just knew it! I praised God!

The next morning when I got up, as my feet touched the floor, I KNEW I WAS A DIFFERENT MAN! I had love and joy and peace in my heart. I noticed trees and children for the first time in years! I had a hunger for the Word and read it like I was devouring it. I was tender hearted and apologized to some of my subordinate workers for being mean; they were shocked to see this big, arrogant bully crying and telling them about the love of God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I admitted my infidelity to my wife and paid my boss $1500, the money I had cheated the company out of, that no one knew about but God and I. My wife and boss both forgave me and my boss, a notoriously stern man with ZERO tolerance for theft, gave me back the money! Only God could have done this!!

I started going to church and buying food for the homeless people I encountered on the subway ride home from work. I felt compelled to do good to people. I would often sense an overwhelming, almost palpable presence in the room with me when I prayed. Often, I would find thoughts or impressions upon my heart to do something that I interpreted as God speaking to me. It was an absolutely supernatural time. Short lived...
Although most sins had fallen away, my sexual lust didn't and it resurfaced and I would indulge, starting an agonizing process of sin, repent, sin, repent that felt like failure to me.

On top of that, I believe God told me to sell a fancy HDTV I had just purchased prior to my conversion. I wasn't totally sure it was Him and not my zeal so I kept seeking clarity. In hindsight I should have sought Him till I got a clear answer but I didn't. The lust issue and the surrendering of my will seemed impossible and I grew tired of the fight, and drifted away slowly until I no longer attended church, indulged my pornography addiction and went back into my sinful life, disappointed in my self and careful not to sin before others to whom I made a confession. I secretly prayed God would intervene and have a great fish swallow me so I could get back to my senses.

Roughly two years later, He responded! My sin grew into depravity and I was arrested for indulging in lewdness. I didn't go to jail but received probation. I prayed to God, thanking Him for intervening and giving me the necessary wake up call and attempting to turn from my sin but it was superficial at best. I encountered Hebrews 6:1-8, 10:26-31 and 12:16-17 one night and fell into a deep abiding dread that nearly destroyed me. I couldn't find hope in the Scriptures but a few verses here and there. This brings me to the present. I have repented the best I could, saturating my brain with the Word and turning from the practice of sin but it's not the same. I don't have the same walk and I'm concerned that I might have committed unpardonable sin! Please respond!!

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https://www.facebook.com/Redefining-Lov ... 073854074/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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Chris, we see on your Facebook page that you're following false teachers, all captives of Babylon the whore, promoter of the corrupt love preached by your brother. Here are three we've written about:

Conlon, Carter: A Captive of Babylon and His Clone
Poonen, Zac: Mystery Babylons Gold Standard
Washer, Paul: Showboating for Baal

Here are other links that could help you:

The Cross - Only the Death Sentence Will Avail
False Love - Satans Last Stronghold http://www.thepathoftruth.com/falsehood ... /index.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;.

If you want help, you should be avidly reading on our site. You could also join the Forum and then be eligible to receive instructions for the meetings we hold regularly. You need deliverance from false religion, but mainly from yourself and walking in your own righteousness.

Paul