The Path of Truth Forum

What is there to introduce? I am black and darkened in the soul without any good thing in me. My knowledge is insufficient, my abilities are insufficient. My words are poison as is my thinking and my actions. I can do nothing. And all I do, is for nothing.

But I didn't always believe this. I used to believe that I was destined to change the world. I believed that I was a great and good man. I believed I was highly
intelligent and desirable. I thought I was funny and charming and I thought that when I died, who would reject a great guy like me? I was afraid of hell but also thought I was going to heaven.

So.

I was deceived into praying for the Holy Spirit. I was deceived into believing
I had Him. I was deceived into thinking I was accepted of Him. I was
deceived into thinking my sins were forgiven while I reveled in them.

Jesus loves you they said, Jesus will forgive you they said. Jesus died
for your sins because He knows that you are unable to be perfect.
So He took the burden and consequence from you.

And I believed them.

I was deluded and perverted and still am. There is no good thing in me indeed.

I once had an experience I dubbed "My Encounter" and I thought I had met
God. I thought He was speaking to me and teaching me things and that I was made
holy and perfect and righteous because of His Mercy. And while those things are true if He wills, it wasn't true for me. But I believed it to be.

Then I met Victor and Paul. And they told me the truth.
And I hated them for it. I often fantasized about physically harming
Victor especially. How dare he talk to me like that? He doesn't know God anymore than me!!!

But I was wrong. I was so very wrong.

I debated, I argued, I yelled, I screamed, I discredited and I chalked them both,
Victor and Paul, to be phonies.

Then I went back to my vomit, and gladly ate it up for a year and a half.
During which God showed me they were right.

How?

I secretly kept coming back.

I secretly kept reading what they had to say.
And as I read, i realized all my questions were being answered.

(They told me from the beginning to read their material and I refused all this time)

I grew cold to reading the bible and grew hot for reading their teachings.
Because the bible, I didn't understand it... I was offended by it.
My mind was darkened to it because of the poison I had drank in nominal Christendom which caused me blindness. And my unrepentant heart and prideful spirit. But God willing, I was open to their teachings.

I noticed now when I read the teachings, Victor didn't sound so much like
an asshole anymore. Paul didn't sound so much like a pretentious jerk anymore.
Their words became sobering and refreshing like an ice water in the blistering heat.

And I found myself agreeing.

Why?

I realize now, because He is Lord, and Paul and Victor are His messengers.

It's only now, the bible is opening up to me in ways I never understood.
It's only now, i'm receiving true revelations. A little here, a little there.
By no means am I accepted, and by no means am I even close to repentance,
but I feel I've started on the right path. The True Path.

I was ashamed and still am ashamed for the things I've said, the way I felt
and how I treated them.

And do you know what they did?

They received me.

Blessed are the ones who come in the name of The Lord... for they bless from the house of The Lord!

Receive sound instruction from them. Your life depends on it.

Hi Kelechi,

Thanks for your introduction. What you've said has resonated with me, because I was very much in your shoes not too long ago (and still am in many respects). There was a time when I thought I might also change the world, being deceived by devils and my vain imagination (as well as signs and lying wonders). I doubt anyone else here knows this about me, but I was actually deluded for a time into thinking I was the Archangel Michael! The ridiculousness of it all still boggles my mind. Truly, the Lord has brought me out of extraordinary delusion and darkness (and shown me why this delusion was necessary and ultimately good).

Also, like you, I had condemned Victor and Paul. In great bitterness, I called them "blind followers of an evil God." The tolerance and forgiveness they've shown me is just another of the many manifestations of Christ's goodness in them, and I am forever thankful for it. As you say, "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord."

I spent a great deal of time at the bottom of the pit, but the Lord has lifted me up and granted me repentance. I am living proof of His astounding mercy, patience and long-suffering.

It seems you've been given much grace, Kelechi. The important thing now is to stay the path.

- Michael

I'm thankful to see you, old friend! It's been a long time and I'm thankful that the Lord has been working in your life to bring you to this point.

-Den

I'm humbled and thankful also, to be fed the little truth I have been given.
My hopes is that it is given to me to go all the way; in this life, and that I don't be cast off. Nevertheless I must trust the Lord to do His work thoroughly, while I fight to do what is required of me.

It is evident to me that everything I am, and everything I do, is absolutely worthless. My thoughts, words and actions do not positively affect anyone because it's clear they have not positively affected me. So I hope, with the little life I have that God will glorify Himself in me.

If I can at least please Him and make Him happy. There will I find value in this life of mine.

It sucks cause I see how I can't please anyone nor can I please myself. I hate this feeling, and myself, so much. So if there's any hope at all for me. Let it be that God please Himself through me. He's the only one that can make something out of nothing.