I told y'all thanks, but I never really introduced myself :)

[Marquita Smith]

Greetings y'all!
I just realized, I've been posting and connecting with y'all and you really don't know anything about me. So here is a proper introduction:
My name is Marquita Laverne Smith. I'm 31, and I'm from Virginia (USA). Right off the coast of the Atlantic (Chesapeake bay). In a previous post I stated that I was a mother of two and wife of one.. So it's only fitting that you know how I got here and what led me to TPOT..I have been in search of the truth for quite some time. I was raised by my great grandmother. My mother gave my sisters and I up very early because she struggled with a crack cocaine addiction. She just couldn't care for us, and the conditions of her life weren't suitable for any child to live. So my gramps took on the responsibility of caring for us and my aunt moved in to help her (as I'm told). Eventually I started calling her mom because my mother wasn't around and she seemed like the closest thing to a mother (although it was my great grandmother who was really raising me). I began going to church very early. My gramps was a "religious" woman .. Always singing hymns, very soft spoken (though she was VERY tall) and a homebody. I wanted to know God, and I was empty inside. I attended a Baptist Church from about 3 years old till around 11, where I was baptized with water (I didn't really know what it meant but as an eleven year old going was church faithfully I believed it was something I was supposed to do). Not long after, I visited a church with the girls on my neighborhood and they were Pentecostal. I really was attracted to the music and spiritual things that seemed to take place there. They always seemed to have "revivals" and I just KNEW God was there. I would go and HOPE that the visiting prophet would call me out and give me a"word from the Lord".. It never happened. What did happen was I started to find out (tho then I didn't discern it, I just thought it was normal), that the people in that place, tho claiming to be "the saints" were as wicked as anyone else I would have met on the streets.. They just dressed nice and knew all the churchy things to say to seem religious.. From the organ player sleeping with church members, to the pastors son touching on me (sexually) on the church van when we would visit other churches. And many other shameful things that just shouldn't be spoken of. So by the age of 15, I was a full blown religious heathen. I would go to church and then go home and sneak out, smoke marijuana, be promiscuous, and then try to preach to my friends. Now, While at that Pentecostal Church, I met a boy named Shelton, who was quiet and kind of awkward. He was really fond of me, but I followed behind the pastors son who would touch on me when no one was watching. So, Things then really started going bad and I was violated twice by age 17, once by a friend of a family member and again by an older cousin. I began to grow callused and believe in my heart that I really wasn't worth anything. I wanted to be loved, and looked to any and everyone who promised they would to do it. And I myself was willing to give them what they asked for in order for them to love me. I was being used up, and I allowed it.
Around this time, I graduated from high school and got accepted into an art university, but my time there was very short lived because I couldn't balance studying with the smoking weed and promiscuity, so I left school and joined the army. I traveled to Germany as a cook in the army, but that sex and drugs just followed me there too and after a few years my military career ended like everything else. I ended up in Vegas where I hoped to marry an airman I dated in Germany. In Vegas I was introduced to crystal meth, and began abusing it. After staying there about 6 months, and working to mainly support my habit, not to mention many grotesque things I did with my body, all for the sake of drugs, my gramps tells me on the phone she wants me to come home. I left everything behind and got on the bus back to Virginia. But the evil was there waiting for me. I got acquainted with people who did cocaine (my sister being one) and shortly after, I got pregnant by a man I barely knew and to this day, I can't even remember his name (if I ever even knew it at all). Now I know this may seem like a lot, but I think it's necessary that you understand where I've been to know the grace shown to a person like me, undeserving.. Filthy.. Worthless.. But he gives more grace. And his strength (not my strength) is made perfect in weakness. So after getting pregnant, my aunt and gramps didn't think it was a good idea for me to be at the house anymore because I was setting a bad example for my aunts daughter and my niece who were staying there. So I had to leave. I moved in with my real mother (for the first time since I was 5 months old) and her 73 year old husband that she married for his disability money while she was in prison. I stayed there less than a month and she, on a drug binge/withdrawal (I'm not sure which one) put all my things out on the porch in the rain and wanted me to leave. I had just ran into shelton again (who I dated on and off through middle and high school). He found out I was pregnant and abandoned and really just lost... And he took me in. He wanted to love me, and wanted to be a father to the bastard child I was carrying. I was reluctant but in my heart I didn't think he would hurt me. He was in the marines reserves and ended up getting deployed to fight in Iraq, so we got married. Hastily. While shelton was in Iraq, my gramps died. I went to stay with family and while there i was coerced to commit adultery with one of their family members that was also staying there. I didn't want to do it, but I was powerless. The Lord said truth when he said "whosoever sins is the servant of sin." I hid it from my husband for a long time. Some years. But after he returned home from war, things weren't right. My sins were testifying against me. We constantly fought, to the point where I had gotten pregnant with his first child, and we lost the child through miscarriage in the middle of a physical altercation. We soon after got evicted and became homeless. The arguing and fighting continued to the point where we couldn't live together peacefully and aiyanna was very young then. I moved out and left her with him and went to get a job on my own.. To be independent. And walking to the bus stop on my way to work, I got hit by a pickup truck. I don't even remember it happening. I just remember waking up in the hospital and the first face I saw.. Was shelton. I had two black eyes, a broken leg, twisted ankle, and the tensions in my shoulder were shredded between the joint of my shoulder. I went back with family and then started to realize I wasn't right. I had to change. So I went back with shelton because I believed it was what God would have me to do. I got married, I had to be a wife. We started to go to church and we lived in a run down motel for six months. We would fast together, study, watch Christian programming (tbn, Daystar, CBN, etc). But shelton still was being cleansed and his aggressive and controlling manners are still with him. He would jump on me and try to hold me down and make me pray, among other things. (I don't say these things to shame him, the man he was then is not the same man he is now, and love covers the multitude of sins). So I got offended, I felt as tho I was being spiritually abused and i left again. I started smoking weed and cigarettes again and just became down right rebellious. I moved to Oklahoma to start my life over with a man I met in the army and he was in prison. I really thought I was in love. Really. I started in Oklahoma for four years, in which, I lived more reckless then I ever did. At times, I would be high on weed, cocaine, pcp , crystal meth, ecstasy, and alcohol all at once. I should be dead. Twice on PCP, someone told me, "if you ever leave me I'll kill you." Same drug, same exact words, two totally different people, at two separate occasions. Then I had a revelation that I had to die to live. But what led me was a perversion and i drove my car into a building trying to commit suicide. My time in Oklahoma was short after that and I moved back home to Virginia. The state was trying to take custody of aiyanna because I was showing myself to be an unfit parent. I returned to Virginia and got pregnant again. this time I knew his name and I thought we were in a relationship but I found out I was just the "mistress" and when the truth began to come out, I was again pregnant and alone. I had determined in my heart I was going to live right, but at that point I was so deceived, I had no idea what that even meant. And the only thing I could really go back to was my old religious hypocrisy. All the while, through Oklahoma disasters, and the many other calamities I suffered due to my own hardheartedness, stubbornness, and rebellion, I stayed in contact with shelton. Who, going through his own discipline elsewhere, felt compelled to come back to Virginia and try to resolved many unfinished matters between the three of us, namely, our marriageWe had tried more than once in Oklahoma to dissolve our marriage by divorce. He just wanted to serve God without distraction, and me and my daughter, and everything that came along with us were a distraction to him doing that.

That was my iron furnace. My Egypt.

When he came, I thought things were going to be normal, we were going to be the family we never were and everything would be fine. But the truth, oh the truth! It is what makes you free. And the truth was, I was (legally) married for 7 years, with a 6 year old and a baby due in two weeks.. Neither of whom belonged to my husband.. And he was there for the both of them. And I believe I was granted repentance. I was convicted. I realized I was a liar, an adulterer, a thief, an idolater, covetous, a hypocrite, a blasphemer, a disgrace, and a reproach to everything God ordained to be called woman. I asked the Lord for forgiveness in my windowsill with a cigarette in my hand. (Which I put out) I started searching the net for someone speaking the truth. I came across William branham, Smith wigglesworth, John g lake, g c bevington, tb Joshua, Chris Lasala, and many others.. I would sleep with the scriptures playing, whatever I could do to to keep my mind of the world and on God. And yet even today, it is truly a walk of faith. It is hard at times, trying, and many times I want to just die and end it all.. It is discipline, and it is grievous. But I thank my Lord that I have come across y'all. I can't express how absolutely vital fellowship is. As the Lord said "it is not good for the man to be alone.." So I have been encouraged and edified by everyone here at the path of truth. There ARE other believers!! And I thank the Lord Jesus Christ that i was led to you to learn, lift, and love one another. Sorry for the lengthy post. I just wanted to share with y'all..

May the Lord bless and prosper you all, spirit, soul, and body. Amen

[Dennison Rivera]

I remember the days when I felt so alone. Thinking that I must be crazy to believe what I believe. I'm thankful the Lord as drawn you here. There is time for all things, I hope that you can be only further molded to do what is required of you. Believe me when I say that it's only a miracle that one believes, a true gift.

[Shelton Smith]

During this time of difficulty for us, it is edifying to know how the Lord in his mercy has kept you, forgiving all your iniquities, healing all your diseases, crowning you with lovingkindnesses and tender mercies, redeeming your life from destruction, and satisfying your mouth with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagles. Grace and peace, with love, to you.

[SusanWaters]

Hi Marquita,

It is such a pleasure to meet you. I see that you posted your introduction back in May. I too have been led to The Path of Truth, and I now must introduce myself to the community. As I prayed about this (introduction) I was led to read your May 21st post. As you well say, (Praise God) “There ARE other believers!!” I am overjoyed at this confirmation, as well! I come into agreement, with you, in thanking the Lord Jesus Christ that we have been “led to you [TPOT] to learn, lift, and love one another.”

You are so precious! My life story is very similar to yours, Marquita---how wonderful that we have been redeemed from our former hopeless state! It is truly us, and those like us that the Scripture describes when it says:

"But God chose what the world considers nonsense in order to shame the wise; God chose what the world considers weak in order to shame the strong; and God chose what the world looks down on as common or regards as nothing in order to bring to nothing what the world considers important; so that no one should boast before God. It is his doing that you are united with the Messiah Yeshua. He has become wisdom for us from God, and righteousness and holiness and redemption as well!" (CJB 1 Corinthians 1:27-30).

It is HIS doing that we are united in Jesus Christ!!! Thank You, LORD!

What a list of demonic false teachers you were delivered from! He has done for you, in what appears to be a relatively short period of time, (though it probably doesn’t seem short to you), what took over 25 years to complete in me, but all to His glory. What a blessing to see the Spirit-filled responses of Dennison Rivera and eselone2 to your post, as well.

It is only through the Grace of God that we were led away, from the legion of false teachers and doctrines found in the world, and were brought here---where we can now grow in Spirit and in Truth, under Godly leadership! Of course, it takes the gift of discernment to see TPOT as Godly—they are obviously hated by many, who come to dispute with them and accuse them (the brethren).

But now, we can hope to be established in Christ Jesus, as were the believers in Corinth, of whom the Apostle Paul wrote,

"Indeed, the testimony about the Messiah has become firmly established in you; so that you are not lacking any spiritual gift and are eagerly awaiting the revealing of our Lord Yeshua the Messiah. He will enable you to hold out until the end and thus be blameless on the Day of our Lord Yeshua the Messiah — God is trustworthy: it was he who called you into fellowship with his Son, Yeshua the Messiah, our Lord." (CJB 1 Corinthians 1:6-9).

You mention, at times, despairing as you attempt to walk in faith. I pray that you are encouraged, in the Spirit, now knowing that God is trustworthy (faithful) and if you exercise the spiritual gift (that you’re not lacking) of faith (which is trust in Him—from Him) your struggle will minimized, if not elevated.

Well now, I had better get busy with my introduction! I just felt led to write to you & so I hope that you will receive this with the Love of the Lord, as it is intended. I am praying for you and your family.

Your sister in Christ Jesus,
Susan

[SusanWaters]

Hi Marquita,

I see that I misspelled a word that completely changes the meaning of what I was trying to convey.

I wrote: You mention, at times, despairing as you attempt to walk in faith. I pray that you are encouraged, in the Spirit, now knowing that God is trustworthy (faithful) and if you exercise the spiritual gift (that you’re not lacking) of faith (which is trust in Him—from Him) your struggle will minimized, if not elevated.

What that should have written is that your struggle will be minimized, if not alleviated. This was the opposite of what I was trying to say!