Good morning everyone,
Thanks for the greeting !
How did i come to know and meet my beautiful Jesus ( Savior) in my life. A lot on interrogation lately on my first contact with Jesus the Son of God . (Be patient because my mother tongue is french)
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
I was raised in a catholic home and let me tell you the belief was God punished us for everything and hell was very close. So I was raised being afraid of God and Hell. I came from a family where was a lot of native medecine, wichcraft, tarot reading etc.
Age of 12: I wanted to kill myself because of family problems, ( parents, child abuse etc.) but by the Grace of God i ended up babysitting one night and my eyes stop on a bible in the house where I was babysitting. I started to read the Bible ( summary) and when I read that Jesus die on the cross and what he went throught i started crying and i said to myself at the age of twelve : If Jesus went to all this for me and He suffered, and died for me on the cross well my life was nothing comparing to Him That idea keep on going thru life.
Age of 25: Mariage broke down with 3 children . Discourage about life, adultery in my life that broke my mother hearts , what keep me sane was my babies. The babysitter of my child was a Christian I did not know that, then one day she gave me a video to look about Jesus Christ (Savior). I watched the video at home while my kids were sleeping as I was saying the prayer to surrender to Jesus I went on my knees and i felt a warm embrace of God holding me in his arms. I was on the floor for a long time in His arms. Another Grave of my Savior Jesus. I believe that night Jesus saved me. Today I understand it is not necessary to have a pastor, or being in a group to be saved, Not to many people believe me on that. JESUS SAVED the way He wants to no need to be in church, or assembly to be save by the Lord Jesus.
Age of 33: I was going to many problems, trauma because of my work (police officer) , one night tired, fed up with life, all i was seeing in life was dead, suidice, sexual abuse, conjugal violence etc atrocity of the world. I took my police car one night and went to a dark road and i parked the police car took my gun out , put the gun on my head and I wanted to died because I was sick and tired of this word. I was depress and despair, and as I was talking to God i was angry about my life , I was convinced in my heart that I was a bad mother because of my divorce at the age of 25 very bad taught about myself. I started shaking and suddenly i started having a vision ( ifi can say that word).
Like if i was watching a TV.... I saw myself at birth, again at the age of 2 walking on the rocks bare feet , I saw myself at the age of 12, the vision was showing me all the good things that I did and how happy I was with my children. What really wake me up was at the end of the vision a voice told me : " Rolande, you can not kill yourself because of this and He showed me my 3 children they were all smiling and very happy". That blow me away I put the gun back on the seat drove back to the police station and I gave my gun, badge, everythng to my supervisor and left the police force. After that I choose another profession : social work.
Fifty year: Renew my realationship with my youngest sister. She never stop praying for me and I am so glad that she never stop. At this time i had the drive inside me to take a week off go to logos Land in Pembroke Ontrio ( august 2013) seeing my sister because there was a tent meeting there that I really wanted to go. Spend a week under that tent in silence, people all over the place, and recall saying to my sister i do not want your friends to come near me and touch me with their hands and pray over me. !!! I was on defense these people were scaring me... I remembered entering the tent and I was hit by a wave on my shouders, i was afraid and at the same time i knew this was the presence of God ... I've felt it before... i felt so weak, dirty and so ashame of who i was under that tent. I saw on a chair and this is what I heard in a loud voice from my right ear: " Stay still and know that i'am God" I did not move for a least 3 days... All I could here for those 3 days are those Words from GOD. " STAY STILL AND KNOW THAT I'AM GOD". My sister stand by me all the way and praying for me at all time. Wow .
I finally was able to stand up i went up front because a lady was calling Jesus praying, weeping at the front and i standed by her i could not event talk or ask anything to God, i was feeling terrible, terrible is not the word, i was petrified that GOD refuses me because of so much sins in my life, i was so afraid of God, not able to say a word loud so God could hear me, i concentrated on at women weeping and praying and that give me the guts to talk to God in my heart . Stay still know that I am God. I was so afraid to make a bad move.. and what occured next was wonderful. Wind came upon my face with an odor of roses and I saw again like on TV my bones exploded in pieces. I actually saw my thorax bones exploded in a vision. DELIVERANCE that was. this how I really meet the power and the Grace and Mercy of my SAVIOR JESUS. AMEN.
One of my son got saved at New Year 2015 at 03:33. My heart just melt for Jesus.
Today i am alive because of the love of my SAVIOR Jesus Christ that he died for me and he had raise from the death and I wait upon His return.
There are times it is still hard but at least I know one thing for sure JESUS my SAVIOR He is with me at all time.
Rolande