I write and rewrite an introduction but keep finding myself delving into needless introspection. I desire Christ. I desire the Baptism of the Spirit. But what I desire is irrelevant. My will is irrelevant, vile even. I am guilty, worthy of nothing but condemnation.
Yet somehow, God desires to have me to some degree. I seek to understand His desires for me, and I seek to understand how to submit to Him fully. For now, I struggle quietly, reading, learning, and hoping as I grope about in darkness toward a light of which I cannot identify a source.
Not I, but Christ
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Gabriel Secrist
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 8:53 am
- Location: Maryland, USA
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Gabriel Secrist
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 8:53 am
- Location: Maryland, USA
Re: Not I, but Christ
Just a follow-up...
I was recently informed that I had been granted access to the private sections of TPOT forums. Immediately, I began reading through the archives. I saw a lot of drama and some harsh rebukes. Something in me said, "hold up now... This looks like dangerous territory." Might this be what some call a “cult”?
If I've learned anything from reading TPOT teachings, it's that something in me attests to the Truth I see here, and if any doubt should arise, I should pray and trust. So I did. To be concise, the impression I got, or perhaps you could say the vision (I'm still learning to discern the differences between these things), is that TPOT is no more a "cult" (and in fact may be less so) than a get together of gun enthusiasts.
If a gun enthusiast got out of hand and was apt to damage other members of the group, it would be perfectly sensible to expel such a member from the group. However, TPOT handles much more dangerous materials than guns, for that which damages the soul is far more lethal than that which damages the flesh. So these firm rebukes and dramatic confrontations suddenly make sense to me.
Next, I considered my own desire to participate, my motivation, at which point I saw my hand. Countless individual cellular entities work together, usually harmoniously, in direct response to my thought such that I can accomplish a given task. Then I saw the body of Christ, with human beings grafted into this celestial body that move organically according to the Will of the Head, sweeping across the planet in harmony. Those outside the body get swept aside, doing nothing to diminish or frustrate the One in control. Those within receive exactly what they need in order to perfectly fulfill their role, with the only expectation of them being trust and obedience. In considering TPOT, much understanding was given to me about "grafting into the vine" and related scriptures.
The Lord has chosen to bestow me with the gift of desire for Him, to be grafted into His Vine. It is with the sincerest gratitude that I pursue to be a part of TPOT, which I believe to be the only branch of the true Vine to which I presently have access (though I believe the Lord has brought me by at least one other branch, possibly two, in my lifetime thus far). I have much to learn about how to function as a leaf on this branch, but it is with great anticipation that I seek to be a useful leaf that bears fruit in accordance with the vine to please the Master of the vineyard.
I cannot say with certainty whether the Spirit indwells me, but I finally realize I have nothing to fear. Clearly, He has been leading me. I see, in retrospect, the intensity of the fires I have endured already, and I foresee fires that will burn much hotter still to come. I know, however, that He will bring me through those fires as He always has, and I have little doubt that He has brought me here so that I have a Water source during future blazes. With the forest fires at bay, I have but to stomp out embers before the rain clears the ash and the forest buds again.
I see the pearl of great price here and I continue to rummage my belongings to see what holds the most value such that I can sell it for this treasure. The sins I still cling to shudder as they are exposed to the Light, they see me sweeping and try to hide in the kicked up dust. But I have time. I will wait for the dust to settle and then continue sanitizing until this tabernacle is fit to house the King.
Thank You Lord Jesus for Your Holy Gifts! Thank You for being the Author and sure Finisher of the Faith that I have. Thank You for choosing, chastising, and changing me.
I was recently informed that I had been granted access to the private sections of TPOT forums. Immediately, I began reading through the archives. I saw a lot of drama and some harsh rebukes. Something in me said, "hold up now... This looks like dangerous territory." Might this be what some call a “cult”?
If I've learned anything from reading TPOT teachings, it's that something in me attests to the Truth I see here, and if any doubt should arise, I should pray and trust. So I did. To be concise, the impression I got, or perhaps you could say the vision (I'm still learning to discern the differences between these things), is that TPOT is no more a "cult" (and in fact may be less so) than a get together of gun enthusiasts.
If a gun enthusiast got out of hand and was apt to damage other members of the group, it would be perfectly sensible to expel such a member from the group. However, TPOT handles much more dangerous materials than guns, for that which damages the soul is far more lethal than that which damages the flesh. So these firm rebukes and dramatic confrontations suddenly make sense to me.
Next, I considered my own desire to participate, my motivation, at which point I saw my hand. Countless individual cellular entities work together, usually harmoniously, in direct response to my thought such that I can accomplish a given task. Then I saw the body of Christ, with human beings grafted into this celestial body that move organically according to the Will of the Head, sweeping across the planet in harmony. Those outside the body get swept aside, doing nothing to diminish or frustrate the One in control. Those within receive exactly what they need in order to perfectly fulfill their role, with the only expectation of them being trust and obedience. In considering TPOT, much understanding was given to me about "grafting into the vine" and related scriptures.
The Lord has chosen to bestow me with the gift of desire for Him, to be grafted into His Vine. It is with the sincerest gratitude that I pursue to be a part of TPOT, which I believe to be the only branch of the true Vine to which I presently have access (though I believe the Lord has brought me by at least one other branch, possibly two, in my lifetime thus far). I have much to learn about how to function as a leaf on this branch, but it is with great anticipation that I seek to be a useful leaf that bears fruit in accordance with the vine to please the Master of the vineyard.
I cannot say with certainty whether the Spirit indwells me, but I finally realize I have nothing to fear. Clearly, He has been leading me. I see, in retrospect, the intensity of the fires I have endured already, and I foresee fires that will burn much hotter still to come. I know, however, that He will bring me through those fires as He always has, and I have little doubt that He has brought me here so that I have a Water source during future blazes. With the forest fires at bay, I have but to stomp out embers before the rain clears the ash and the forest buds again.
I see the pearl of great price here and I continue to rummage my belongings to see what holds the most value such that I can sell it for this treasure. The sins I still cling to shudder as they are exposed to the Light, they see me sweeping and try to hide in the kicked up dust. But I have time. I will wait for the dust to settle and then continue sanitizing until this tabernacle is fit to house the King.
Thank You Lord Jesus for Your Holy Gifts! Thank You for being the Author and sure Finisher of the Faith that I have. Thank You for choosing, chastising, and changing me.