Greetings

[Wesley Gafoor]

Greetings to all at the Path of Truth

I am greatly afflicted and always come on your website for help. After reading your article on Confession of Sin, it dawned on me that playtime is over for me and the Lord I fear will wink no more at my transgressions. Please assist me in what must be done so that I can find peace, to be right with God.

I have many sins I must repent of. My conscience accuses me, my deeds are ever clear to all but myself and the fruit I bear testify of my iniquity. I have compiled a list of every sin that I am aware of. I am an evil man of the worst kind. After I wrote down all of the things I have done as is specified in the article about being specific, I am dead in my sins and just the reading thereof sickens me.

It is clear to me that I am far from the Lord. I have been sinning for years from when I was a boy up until now and I reap what I sow. I wish to confess all my sins if you will let me and repent of all of them. I fear for my life, for my soul, for my family and for all who I have wronged.

Is there anyone here that will hear my sins so that I may confess them? Is there anyone here that can give me guidance from the Lord on how to repent of each one and if possible reimburse whoever I have wronged?

[Paul Cohen]

Wesley, here’s the Word of God that applies to your request:

“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy” (Proverbs 28:13 ESV).

It’s not enough to confess your sins. You’ve done that here over the past several years with no change in your person or ways. You must forsake your sins and yourself. You must choose Truth over self.

For your sake and the sake of others who also have loved their sins, lies, and death more than the Lord, Truth, and Life, we’ll review what the Lord has given you to hear and believe for your salvation, if you were to walk in faith and obedience.

You came to us in September 2011 (telling us later that you began reading TPOT in 2010). Here is your first letter:

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: On how to be saved
From: Wesley Gafoor
To: ask@thepathoftruth.com
Date: 9/12/2011 9:47 AM

Hi

I have been reading many articles on your site and have found them informative. However I don't understand the concepts of free will and how God chooses people to be saved in this life. What I am trying to ask is what is my part in it? Is there nothing I can do from my own doing? If it is a gift from God, should I just wait and hope to receive it? And what about the inpardonable sin against the holy spirit, what is it? I hope I am not asking too many questions but I really need and Want to know.
Please reply.... I am desperate

Here’s a portion of our reply:

You will see in the Gospels that when the Lord comes, He doesn’t explain or require you to understand “free will,” which is a manmade concept that isn’t even found in the Bible anyway. And you don’t have to understand “unpardonable sin,” or any other terms that are in the Bible. All that is important is that you believe Him, that He died for your sins, rose again from the dead, and is here to guide you into all truth and every right way, step by step as your Lord and Savior.

Do you believe that? If not, He can handle that obstacle as well. To believe, God calls on you to turn from your sins and to turn to Him. If you are being drawn to the Son that is something only the Father can do, and don’t you think He is able to do a complete job? We assure you, by the Scriptures and firsthand, personal experience that He can, and does. Seriously consider that you wouldn’t be here inquiring if He hadn’t brought you. Nothing is left to chance.

You replied:

Yes what you say is true regarding Jesus being the answer. The problem is knowing it is not enough but to believe it and accept it is probably a different matter for me. I have decided that there remains no purpose for me in this life and will go ahead and devise a plan to take my own life... I want to thank you and Victor though for the article on the reconciliation of all things. Perhaps one day we will all have the knowledge and peace of God.

I just wish that I could have experienced Jesus in this life, but then again not all will be saved in this life, right?

We wrote back:

Hi Wesley,

If you believe us about Jesus being the answer, then you should also believe us that committing suicide isn’t the answer. Suicide is going from the frying pan into the fire. Have you red that link we gave you? If you can’t handle it here, wait till you get there, where you multiply your problem manifold by your action.

Not only is suicide a tragic choice for anyone, but even more so for the one who has been told and knows that Jesus Christ is the Present Answer to all his problems. You are asking for even more trouble than the many that haven’t heard or known.

It’s true that not all are saved in this life, but each is judged according to what he or she has been given. You will be judged more severely, having heard the truth and deliberately disregarded it, if you carry out your plans.

“And that servant who knew his lord's will and did not prepare, nor did according to His will, shall be beaten with many stripes. But he not knowing, and doing things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For to whomever much is given, of him much shall be required. And to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more” (Luke 12:47-48 MKJV).

Many in churches or brought up with some Bible background haven’t heard the truth as you have heard it.

Don’t mistakenly think you’ll have solace in the fact that all will be reconciled to Him. You’ll pay a serious price for murder. Why do you think God had people stoned for it? He was telling them how disastrous a crime it is, not only for the victim but for the perpetrator and those concerned.

But I don’t believe it’s your problems that have brought you to the conclusion you have no option but to kill yourself. It’s your sin that you don’t want to let go of that keeps you from coming to the One Who can save you. Sin is what brings death, not problems or shortcomings.

So what is that sin, Wesley? If you don’t know, ask the Lord to show you. Do you think that after laying down His life to remove your sin that He wouldn’t show you, or give you repentance and life, even abundantly, as He promised, if you asked of Him?

Are you angry with God because of your condition? Do you blame Him? You say you blame no one, but do you blame Him? Are you in unforgiveness towards others who have teased you? Are you carrying bitterness and hatred towards individuals or peoples, even unbeknownst to yourself? Those things won’t leave you if you commit suicide, they will only be multiplied.

Suicide bombers, for example, die in an inferno of hatred and envy that they’ve ignited and take with them as they enter the next realm. What you are goes with you. Suicide doesn’t end what you are, but it does increase it.

And if you know that God’s intent isn’t evil, why would you support and do evil against His will? How foolish is that?

Have you talked to your parents about your plan to “unburden” them? Give your brothers a heads up and see what they think. Do they agree with you? Wouldn’t they agree with us and with God that it’s evil?

Do you want to tell us more specifically about your problems “adapting to this world”? If we speak the truth, don’t you think we could help you there as well? Also, you didn’t answer us about your background.

Until his later twenties, Victor had difficulties fitting in, as well. He looked and wondered how others had it together when he couldn’t. It turned out that God had His hand on him and had a calling for him that was far more precious than that of those he once envied. Could that be the case for you, too?

Should you decide to take your life, we will know that contrary to your agreeable words, you haven’t believed a thing we’ve said. If you do as we say, it will turn out very well for you; if not, it most certainly will go much worse. So be it; we won’t strive with those who love themselves more than anyone else and who choose to remain that way. It’s your call.

You wrote back two weeks later:

Hi Paul

Thanks for the previous email. I hope you can still remember me from our last conversation. I apologize for only replying now. I have to be honest and say I am very grateful that there are people like you who has through some way become available to talk to. See I have few friends and I can't share this with them. The one time I tried he suggested he took a belt and finish the job. I could not believe it but perhaps he was being sarcastic. I may be depressed and without direction and worse still dead in my sins but you are right, what is the point of going from the frying pan into the fire thus so my last act proving exactly how contrary to God my entire life has been.

Yes you are right it is sin that brings death and because of so many I have it is driving me even further away from the truth.

The last time we spoke you asked for some background information. Well I grew up in a small town in South Africa called Richmond. I am the eldest of three boys. I am 23 years old and attended university to get a qualification. Not really knowing what to with my life a started of trying chemical engineering because I thought my results at high school was pointing me in that direction and I heard having such a title will bring me respect and money. As the year went along I soon discovered how vastly inferior and incapable I am as well as being under prepared and not even knowing what an engineer does, to complete the four year degree. Soon after realizing this I went on the extended program which was available specifically for people in my situation, this program was a year longer than the normal course. As the year went by I barely passed even with the lighter work load.

To be honest perhaps I could have done better had I not being too busy trying to watch TV the whole time and going out to party and have fun the way I thought young people are supposed to. All the while my parents who are working hard to provide for me, I have been extremely fortunate for they were in the position to provide for me abundantly as far as money is concerned. Additionally I also had a loan and small bursary to cover my tuition fees and accommodation. At the end of that year I knew it was not meant for me to be an engineer and I decided to try something easier the following year.

The next year, I was 18 at the time, I decided to change my major from an engineering degree to a science degree hoping that in the end I will be alright and it is still something worthwhile to pursue. As it turned out it went well for the following three years academically speaking and eventually I got a b.sc in chemistry. Also I qualified for honors degree and have found favor with a mining company who was seeking someone with my degree. All was going well and everything seemed on course. I have been assured a job, the company was paying for everything and I even had extra to spend. This is probably where things started going bad for me. I had many friends at that time and studies or our future was the last thing on our minds.

I started having more fun than usual finding the new degrees workload easy and started becoming arrogant and reckless. Towards the end of my fourth year I met a girl I became obsessed about so much so that I started neglecting what was important to me to such an extent that I changed from bad to worse. At the end of that year I was obligated to work for the company that was paying for all my studies. During this time I once again realized how I am incapable I am. Although having a degree I knew relatively little about what a chemist should actually know and be capable of. My superiors said this was normal and that I would eventually learn on the job.

All the while I was busy trying to get the girl I was obsessed about attention and somehow try and woo her by sending her messages. See she was a great distance from the mine where I was located and the only way to get in touch was through the social networking service was Facebook. She ignored my attempts at communicating and I eventually grew reckless and wanted a reply ( before we both left university I asked her if we could try and be a couple the following year when we will return, although it was through great effort in my part and looking back now I think she only agreed because she felt sorry for me, and I took it the wrong way being completely delusional) so I stared posting things in public domain where all who knew her and me and people we had in common could see. I made a huge fool of myself. I suspect that during the holidays she met someone who she genuinely liked and he her. In the mean time I ignored common sense and kept bothering her. Eventually I grew depressed and was posting some pretty depressing stuff publically making even a bigger fool of myself. She eventually replied I suspect out of pity and said we should just be friends. I thought that this was better than nothing and expressed joy once again.

Returning the next year for honors I soon found the going tough as honors degree in the field requires ones full attention and dedication and not to mention a passion or at the very least a liking towards the subject. None of which I had. I eventually stopped attending class, Lord knows why, after finding out this girl was going out with this guy from her hometown( the one I suspectec she met during the holidays) I started comparing myself to him and wondered what he had I did not and as time went on I grew more depressed and distant form everyone I knew. The funny thing is I found out that he is an chemical engineer and older thus more mature so he can provide for her. He also seemed like a really nice guy a Christian. She did not think she was doing anything wrong since we were just friends and free to date who we pleased.

I tried to pretend that I am ok with it but it was clear visibly I was having a hard time dealing with this. Now with all that going on in my personal life I forgot that a company was waiting for me to finish by honors and than repay them by working for them. I could not deal with everything anymore. I have outstanding debt from loans I had to pay and finding myself in a field I have no idea about and having made a fool of myself in front of everyone. It was time to inform the company that I failed at my studies due to personal reasons (writing them a ridiculous letter which a friend helped me compose at the time I could not think what to say, I mean how will a letter like this would have looked to them?

Ether way I looked like a fool. I was fortunate that they accepted my situation and offered me an alternative, they said I could come and work for the remainder of the year. I came home to my parents and I had to make up some lie why I could not complete my studies and comply with my duties to the mining company. I sat around home moping for a few months waiting for the appointed time the company said I must return. How embarrassing I wanted to throw myself of a cliff. Finally the time came where I had to leave home and go and work. Arriving there the people in charge were quite understanding and tried to help me, I was not suspecting it. I have been blessed to have a kind and wise supervisor who was really good at his job and was a highly respectable person at the company took me in and tried to make the best of the situation.

I was beginning to feel better and was earning money for doing relatively little work (no one was expecting me to of much use initially and hoped that I would eventually became useful) and sadly now I got arrogant again perceiving that I could now be my evil old self again. After months of not posting anything on Facebook I obtained enough confidence to post something. I thought about getting revenge on the girl because I somehow in my mind blamed her for everything that happened to me. I worked out some plan to do it by befriending her and made her at ease. Eventually I humiliated her publically on Facebook and even called people to look at it. How disgusting I was.... And continue to be.

As the time went on and the year came to an end my supervisor offered me an opportunity to go back and attempt my honors again. Naturally I was exited to go back hoping I could be my 'old' self again just one more time and feel 'normal' again. I bought myself with the aid of my father a nice car and started working out to get fit. I guess this whole time I just wanted to prove to myself and everyone especially this girl that I am not complete loser. It is probably quite clear I have an inferiority complex. I could go on and try and put all that happened this year into this letter but I don't want to go on rambling but this year started of well and I grew cocky. To make a long story short I failed my honors again by not attending classes and being lazy amongst other things....

I could go on and on but I believe this is the main part of it. For the last few months I have been hiding in my flat hoping no one who knew me would find me. I am lying to my parents telling them yes I did fail but am doing old modules again to pass the time. I have not informed the company who once again paid for this year. I have no idea how I am going to go back there and look anyone in the eye having now failed for a second time. I spend my days playing on my phone and searching the internet. Somehow I ended up on your site.

Paul know this probably irrelevant, I just wanted to tell someone. I am busy losing my mind lying to everyone and pretending to myself that things will work themselves out somehow. I don't know what to do from here onwards. I thought perhaps I could pray and then maybe God would help me somehow.

Anyway I don't know if my letter makes any sense but hope that you can somehow see something into it. I am tired of my life and the way things are going. I know one reaps what one sows and God is not mocked. I wish to repent but where does one begin. Night and day my sins are before God almighty. There are many things I have not mentioned about my sins (the ones I know about).

So please ,Paul, I know my problems are no problem for God and know His arm is not short. I would do anything to know Him and His ways. I do not care about material riches or success according to the worlds definition of it. They say everyone has purpose. I guess I just want to know what that is for me.

We replied:

Hi Wesley,

Your letter makes sense; at least we get the general picture of what’s been happening in your life. And you already know the answer to what you need to do, and have known for some time, but it helps to have these things confirmed as the truth from God.

You write: “I know one reaps what one sows and God is not mocked. I wish to repent but where does one begin.”

You begin where you are. You have been a liar and thief, deceiving others and avoiding your responsibilities, thereby stealing from them. You start repenting by stopping all of that immediately. You need to come clean with your parents, your employer, educators, and anyone else to whom you are indebted financially, morally, or otherwise.

But coming clean isn’t enough, as you’ve found out in the past. You need to do whatever is required of you and stick with it. You need to meet your obligations, whatever it takes. You need to make restitution.

You also need to report back to your parents, your employer, and whoever you are indebted to on a regular basis, so you aren’t able to slack off and hide away again. You need to be disciplined. For that, you need to be held accountable, with no more cover-ups. Your parents or employer may or may not be able help you in this, if you truly want to make things right. But you can’t demand or expect anything from them. You must recognize that you don’t deserve any mercy or kindness.

When you come clean, you need to let them know that you will cooperate to the maximum on whatever is required of you and want to be held to that. Regardless of whether they work with you or not, you need to do whatever it takes, even if it kills you. And don’t buy into the lie that you aren’t capable of learning or doing what is necessary. It’s not a matter of aptitude - it’s a matter of will. And where there’s a true and realistic will, there’s a way.

You say in your letter you would do anything to know God and His ways. Did you really think you could come to know Him while you are cheating others and lying to them? You’ll never know God if you aren’t willing to carry your weight as a responsible human being. You need to put away your pride and utter selfishness, before they destroy you the rest of the way. Yes, things can get worse, much worse.

You’ve been a proud, selfish fool, a spoiled brat who’ll kill himself if he doesn’t get his way, and if he does get it to any degree, he immediately becomes arrogant and reckless, again and again. Repent, Wesley, repent of such a horrible way of thinking and being! Repent of abusing your neighbors and benefactors. Repent of dishonoring father and mother in the Law of God.

You will begin down the road of coming to know God by doing what’s right starting now. Or you can heap more pain and judgment on yourself by continuing to hide and run away from your responsibilities.

To sum it up, you don’t come to God in order to escape your circumstances; you come to Him in order to face them and do what’s right in them. That’s what He requires. Take one small step doing what’s right for the sake of what’s right, and He will be there to help you do whatever is needed, taking you through to the next step.

Here’s a parable Jesus gave to represent what we are telling you, a parable which remarkably suits you and your situation very well:

Matthew 25:14-30 GW
(14) "The Kingdom of Heaven is like a man going on a trip. He called his servants and entrusted some money to them.

It seems that God is nowhere around, right? Like He has gone on an extended trip somewhere.

(15) He gave one man ten thousand dollars, another four thousand dollars, and another two thousand dollars. Each was given money based on his ability. Then the man went on his trip.

Still, He has left you with certain duties and responsibilities to faithfully exercise.

(16) "The one who received ten thousand dollars invested the money at once and doubled his money.
(17) The one who had four thousand dollars did the same and also doubled his money.

As you know, there are those who exercise discipline and responsibility with what they’ve been given. They appreciate and use what God has given them.

(18) But the one who received two thousand dollars went off, dug a hole in the ground, and hid his master's money.

That’s you, Wesley.

(19) "After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them.

Sooner or later, He calls every person into account; know it; if you don’t already, you will. That’s the way He works. There is no escaping Him or His Law.

(20) “The one who received ten thousand dollars brought the additional ten thousand. He said, 'Sir, you gave me ten thousand dollars. I've doubled the amount.'
(21) "His master replied, 'Good job! You're a good and faithful servant! You proved that you could be trusted with a small amount. I will put you in charge of a large amount. Come and share your master's happiness.'

He is faithful and sure to generously reward the faithful. It never fails.

(22) "The one who received four thousand dollars came and said, 'Sir, you gave me four thousand dollars. I've doubled the amount.'
(23) "His master replied, 'Good job! You're a good and faithful servant! You proved that you could be trusted with a small amount. I will put you in charge of a large amount. Come and share your master's happiness.'

How does He reward those who do well with what they’ve been given, those who keep His Commandments, His moral laws, those who exercise faithful responsibility to God and neighbor? He gives them success, spiritual prosperity, joy, satisfaction, purpose, peace, and honor. He makes Himself known to them. He grants them to enter into fellowship and dominion with Him. They receive power, authority, and wisdom. They receive everything heart could wish in terms of good.

Why should He give you anything good? Do you have it coming? Not by your report, not by any stretch of imagination.

(24) "Then the one who received two thousand dollars came and said, 'Sir, I knew that you are a hard person to please. You harvest where you haven't planted and gather where you haven't scattered any seeds.
(25) I was afraid. So I hid your two thousand dollars in the ground. Here's your money!'

Wesley, isn’t that exactly what you’ve been doing? Haven’t you been as that fellow? We go by your words, not any other, and we see a perfect match of this parable to you and your situation. And here’s what He’s been recently saying to you:

(26) "His master responded, 'You evil and lazy servant! If you knew that I harvest where I haven't planted and gather where I haven't scattered,
(27) then you should have invested my money with the bankers. When I returned, I would have received my money back with interest.

In essence, your view of God and His creation has been grossly false and unrealistic. You have found fault with His ways and order of things; in essence, you have found fault with Him. And He certainly is not pleased with you. So what has He said of you?

(28) Take the two thousand dollars away from him! Give it to the one who has the ten thousand!
(29) To all who have, more will be given, and they will have more than enough. But everything will be taken away from those who don't have much.
(30) Throw this useless servant outside into the darkness. People will cry and be in extreme pain there.'

He has brought you to the edge of that cliff of destruction, of a horrid darkness. You are about to be destroyed, and deservedly so.

However, you have been brought to our site, which He has raised up for people to have opportunity to hear the truth, to receive answers, and to be redeemed. We believe you may have been given an undeserved opportunity, another chance to mend your ways, or you wouldn’t be here, enquiring. Certainly, He is the One Who has brought you here, and not for nothing. The question now is, “What will you do with that act of mercy from Him?”

A problem for you has been wanting a magic pill that makes your problems go away, and you want it for nothing. You need to know that your problems are there, not only because you’ve well earned them, but because you need them. They are your way to salvation or destruction, depending entirely on your attitude and reaction. Only by coming clean with Him, yourself, and with all those with whom you have to do, will there be any hope for you. Only by facing your problems can you face yourself and what needs to be overcome. Only by facing yourself will you be able to deal with and overcome your problems.

That’s the way things are, Wesley. Repent. Don’t look for loopholes, look for the things you need to do. There is no further room for playing your games with God. Read Repentance, Obedience, and How One Is Saved.

Also, you didn’t mention your religious background. What is it? Have you told your parents that you believe Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior, the Way, the Truth and the Life? Do you really believe it, or are you ashamed of Him? That would be no wonder, the way you have been conducting yourself. How could you mention His Name? This would be just another aspect of your despising and burying something He has given you to invest.

Mark 8:34-38 MKJV
(34) And calling near the crowd with His disciples, He said to them, Whoever will come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.
(35) For whoever will save his life shall lose it; but whoever shall lose his life for My sake and the gospel's, he shall save it.
(36) For what shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?
(37) Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
(38) Therefore whoever shall be ashamed of Me and of My Words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man shall also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.

You answered:

Hello

Yes I can't refute the truth you have spoken and am glad to have received the answer and at the same time am in shocked and in grief.

I am a liar, a thief, a fornicator, a wicked lazy spoiled brat. I can barely look at myself in the mirror. As you say I am standing on the edge of destruction and if not for God's mercy I would be destroyed. I must also mention that I am a blasphemer of the worst kind.

My religious background is rooted in christianity as presented by orthodox dutch reformed church. I have never been fond of going and thought the people who attended are hypocrites. So justifying my own view of God and how I understand him. Up until high school the matters of religion did not bother me much since half my family is muslim, my father is agnostic and has left the decision up to us. My mother was brought up catholic though now non practicing. The other half of my family who profess christianity are either pentacostal/ charismatic or methodist or orthodox.

I first got interested in high school when a cousin of mine gave me a book by mary baxter. A divine revelation of hell it was called. After reading it I was scarred not only for me but everyone I knew because I believed what she wrote and all forms of religion I have been exposed to seemed to be confirming what she said. I then started reading the new testament gideons bible. Never before have I ever read something like it. I tried following the commandments of Jesus in my own capacity. It was settled in my mind that christianity was the true religion.

As the time went on I heard of many doctrines some conflicting and some confirming one another. After a while I gave up, why can't anyone agree and why are there so many denominations? Surely Christ is not divided. When I got to university I was introduced to a new brand of christianity, the charismatic group. They made me and all others felt welcome and was preaching a prosperity gospel. They believed in water baptism and receiving the holy spirit with the laying on of hands. Nowhere was the call to repentance and to justify this verses like that found in romans were quoted.

For instance the law is no more applicable and there are" no condemnation in Christ" it is a free" gift" they would say. Basically it was the gospel of "accepting" Christ into your heart. Verses quoted to support this idea is where Jesus says he is standing at the door and knocking.

I bought it all thinking myself redeemed yet I carry on sinning. It really bothered me when I read through out the new testament that those who are truly born again are new creatures yet I am the same person. Eventually I left the church because clearly I am a hypocrite and my conversion was false. I ended up not caring all together and started living according to a mixture of "orthodox christian" values and secular ethics so that I could fit in with most groups and feel comfortable.

As time went by I met a friend from the sda church who introduced me to some of their doctrines. The one I found most intriguing was that of soul sleep and annihilation of the wicked. I attended a few Sabbath meetings with him and thought about converting but I never got that far because I thought here is another group who thought they had the truth and this one seems even more restrictive as they also follow the law in their own capacity along with the dietry laws of the old testament.

At some point after this I went away to go and live with a family who were professing JW's witnesses. They were very nice people and tried to teach me their doctrines as well. Knowing a little scripture it was easy to refute some of their doctrines but we were arguing most of the time not determine the truth it would seem but rather out of pride and deceit.

Well that's my religious background in a nutshell. Eventually I decided that God is fully capable of revealing Himself to anyone who He chooses without the aid of some guru or organization. I through some research in my mind concluded that only the kjv of the bible was to be trusted and that I would read it and draw my own conclusions and where I differed from the truth that God would reveal it to me in some way.

However nothing changed I am still the same old lost sinner now equipped with a little knowledge of scripture I thought myself wise and knowing something of God. So I considered myself a mixture of all the christian denominations and do not belong to any. At some point in time I did terrible horrible things in the name of the Lord... Things like quoting scripture out of context to support my wicked ways and posting it online. I don't know how many people got deceived as a result of it, I really thought it was the right way at the time.

Now I have received once again undeserved mercy. I will inform my parents and employers as well as my educators of my actions. You are right I should not expect any kindness for I do not deserve it. Any consequence of my actions I must accept. I must confess though that I do not have the courage or the will to face what may come my way, is it possible that He may grant me that?

Thank you for the words, I believe they are truly from God.

I wrote a short note encouraging you to go on. You then contacted us on chat and heard more from Victor:

1:11:50 PM: Victor:
The will of God is simple enough; just do as He commands

1:12:01 PM: Victor:
summed up in the two great commandments

1:12:22 PM: Victor:
Worship God and do unto others as you would want to be treated

1:12:31 PM: Victor:
Speak the truth

1:12:39 PM: wesley:
Yes, I know the 2 greatest commandments. But how can you love God but not know Hm

1:12:45 PM: Victor:
respect and obey your authorities

1:12:55 PM: Victor:
Be there for the benefit of others

1:13:14 PM: Victor:
You begin by acknowledging His commandments

1:13:29 PM: wesley:
you make it seem so easy and simple

1:13:46 PM: Victor:
You set yourself to doing what little you know He would have you to do.

1:13:57 PM: Victor:
Not a complicated matter at all

1:14:10 PM: Victor:
And as you do as required, you'll be given more

1:14:28 PM: Victor:
As you believe and obey, He will take steps to committing Himself to you

1:15:10 PM: Victor:
He who has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me. And he who loves Me shall be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will reveal Myself to him.
(John 14:21 MKJV)

1:15:27 PM: Victor:
Jesus answered and said to him, If a man loves Me, he will keep My Word. And My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him.
(John 14:23 MKJV)

1:15:47 PM: wesley:
I see, I think. But there are some that seem out of reach

1:16:11 PM: Victor:
Obey what you are able

1:16:24 PM: Victor:
And what are those you think to be out of reach?

1:17:38 PM: wesley:
Well for instance, I believe it is Paul who said "forsake not the gathering of youselves", I do not anyone that knows God as youknow Him

1:18:01 PM: Victor:
So you are gathering here, now

1:18:18 PM: Victor:
You are here

1:18:25 PM: Victor:
Not hard

1:19:03 PM: wesley:
true, but you have a spiritual brother in Paul which you can commincate daily with on any matter or issue of life

1:19:11 PM: Victor:
Take My yoke on you and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you shall find rest to your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.
(Matthew 11:29-30 MKJV)

1:19:52 PM: Victor:
Like I said, do what you're able - and He will make a way where there is no way.

1:20:22 PM: Victor:
Aren't you able to communicate with us?

1:20:33 PM: Victor:
You can write...that's communicating

1:20:47 PM: Victor:
Spiritual essence is not contained or restricted

1:20:54 PM: Victor:
God is not limited

1:20:58 PM: Victor:
You are

1:20:58 PM: wesley:
Ok, I guess I am only being stuborn and wish I had the blessing you have.

1:21:00 PM: Victor:
He Isn't

1:21:17 PM: wesley:
I know He is not

1:21:22 PM: Victor:
The blessing comes by faith and obedience to Him

1:21:30 PM: Victor:
All straightforward

1:21:57 PM: Victor:
Have you repented of your ways with your parents, school authorities, and employers?

1:22:06 PM: wesley:
yes, all straightforward. But there is a difference between theory and practice, no?

1:22:08 PM: Victor:
Are you doing them right now.

1:22:17 PM: Victor:
?

1:22:24 PM: Victor:
That's practice

1:24:08 PM: wesley:
Yes I have started with my parents. My employers, not yet I am ashamed to admit, but I will, I have to. Ok, then there is small matters I wish to speak about as well

1:24:26 PM: Victor:
Honesty and restitution

1:24:38 PM: Victor:
Owe no man anything, the Bible says

1:24:59 PM: Victor:
You will get nowhere with God by ignoring/neglecting your obligations in His sight

1:25:21 PM: Victor:
No point in complaining or asking about anything if you aren't tending to what you already know

1:25:24 PM: wesley:
Yes and I owe alot...

1:25:38 PM: Victor:
God does not respect halfheartedness

1:25:57 PM: Victor:
and neither do we, being one with Him

1:26:21 PM: Victor:
You will be far from blessing by disobedience

1:26:26 PM: wesley:
yes, you are right. I must commit fully

1:26:42 PM: Victor:
Indeed, disobedience brings a curse; His wrath is on all those who despise Him

1:26:49 PM: Victor:
Not obeying, you despise

1:26:53 PM: Victor:
One or the other

1:26:57 PM: Victor:
on inbetween

1:27:00 PM: wesley:
Do I really?

1:27:04 PM: Victor:
Yes

1:27:08 PM: Victor:
really

1:27:19 PM: Victor:
What else might you call it?

1:27:50 PM: wesley:
nothing else I can think of

1:27:57 PM: Victor:
right

1:28:59 PM: wesley:
So, that being the case, how can I commit fully when my heart and mind is so far from God?

1:29:18 PM: Victor:
It's been said, Wesley

1:29:27 PM: Victor:
Do what you know to do

1:29:48 PM: Victor:
Words and wishes are cheap; only acts will do

1:29:50 PM: wesley:
Ok, yes it has, I must or perish.

1:30:01 PM: Victor:
you have the words now; just match up the acts to them

1:30:25 PM: Victor:
Otherwise you are a hypocrite

1:30:41 PM: Victor:
and there's nothing worse in His sight than a hypocrite

1:30:47 PM: wesley:
is it possible after so may failed attempts. Can a person truelly repent and obey if he so desires?

1:30:57 PM: Victor:
If anything brings His wrath, it's hypocrisy

1:31:33 PM: Victor:
If you truly desire to do right, it'll happen, sooner or later

1:31:54 PM: Victor:
until it happens, you'll continue to suffer the consequences of not doing right

1:32:08 PM: Victor:
God honors those who honor Him

1:32:15 PM: wesley:
believe me I know...

1:32:30 PM: Victor:
I believe you

1:33:38 PM: wesley:
Well Victor, there is nothing more to say. I have the words now for the acts. One last question, why do we revel and enjoy sin so much?

1:33:53 PM: Victor:
With the merciful, You will show Yourself merciful; with an upright man You will show Yourself upright; with the pure You will show Yourself pure; and with the crooked You will show Yourself perverse.
(Psalms 18:25-26 MKJV)

1:34:19 PM: Victor:
Since the choice in Eden, man has, by nature, been committed to sin

1:34:21 PM: Victor:
and the lie.

1:34:30 PM: wesley:
the lie?

1:34:44 PM: Victor:
The serpent was/is a liar

1:34:56 PM: Victor:
He deceived Eve

1:35:09 PM: Victor:
and man has lived a lie ever since

1:35:12 PM: Victor:
preferring it to the truth

1:35:34 PM: Victor:
Jesus Christ has come to redeem us from that death and darkness...Hell

1:35:48 PM: Victor:
Believing on Him, we are delivered

1:35:53 PM: wesley:
Yes indeed He is and sadly I was and struggle with the truth and reality as well

1:35:55 PM: Victor:
Confessing Him as Lord

1:36:05 PM: Victor:
which means by the life and not only the lips

1:36:28 PM: Victor:
doing what you know to do

1:36:35 PM: wesley:
up untill now all I have done is give Him lip service

1:36:41 PM: Victor:
not doing what you know you ought not do

1:37:05 PM: Victor:
lipservice...which is a lie

1:37:11 PM: Victor:
You've been lying to Him

1:37:14 PM: Victor:
in other words

1:37:19 PM: Victor:
bullshit

1:37:25 PM: Victor:
He won't take that, Wesley

1:37:35 PM: Victor:
You only dig yourself deeper into Hell

1:37:40 PM: wesley:
now I know... funny yes could not say it better myself, bulshit

1:37:51 PM: Victor:
That's exactly what it is

1:38:47 PM: Victor:
Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying, "This people draws near to Me with their mouth, and honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me. (Matthew 15:7-8 MKJV)

1:40:23 PM: wesley:
yes agreed, but being a matter of the heart, does the bible not say that the heart wicked, are we not all born sinners? How can He expect that which I never had in the first place?

1:41:16 PM: Victor:
Therefore putting aside all filthiness and overflowing of evil, receive in meekness the implanted Word, which is able to save your souls. But become doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if anyone is a hearer of the Word and not a doer, he is like a man studying his natural face in a mirror.
(James 1:21-23 MKJV)

1:41:35 PM: Victor:
For he studied himself and went his way, and immediately he forgot what he was like. But whoever looks into the perfect Law of liberty and continues in it, he is not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work. This one shall be blessed in his doing.
(James 1:24-25 MKJV)

1:41:44 PM: wesley:
a double mined man

1:42:06 PM: Victor:
He will give grace where and when needed

1:42:12 PM: Victor:
to answer your last question

1:42:29 PM: Victor:
He has already given you the grace to come here, hasn't He?

1:42:44 PM: Victor:
Do you think you're asking these things here entirely on your own?

1:42:48 PM: wesley:
Perhaps

1:42:56 PM: Victor:
no perhaps about it

1:43:03 PM: Victor:
unless you're stringing me

1:43:16 PM: Victor:
If so, He knows how to handle that quite well

1:43:29 PM: Victor:
You can fool me but you can't fool Him

1:43:37 PM: wesley:
stringing? No, my intent is to know the will of God, I assure you

1:43:59 PM: Victor:
If there's any sincerity on your part in these matters we discuss now, it's His doing

1:44:03 PM: Victor:
and none of your own

1:44:23 PM: Victor:
but you'll have to take advantage of what He has already given you

1:44:51 PM: Victor:
Stop defending yourself, doubting, disbelieving, and just get on with expending your energy to find a way to obey

1:45:02 PM: wesley:
as simple as that

1:45:18 PM: Victor:
instead of spending it making excuses and entertaining the thoughts of inability

1:45:24 PM: Victor:
as simple as that, yes.

1:45:30 PM: Victor:
Perfectly so

1:46:13 PM: Victor:
Wesley, I need to go here now

1:46:38 PM: wesley:
right, well Victor. thanks alot for your time, beleive me it has sunk in

1:46:46 PM: Victor:
Any other need to talk or ask, just write

1:46:50 PM: Victor:
Good

1:47:06 PM: Victor:
ARe you mailing this transcript of our conversation to yourself?

1:47:26 PM: wesley:
will do, thanks again. What do you mean?

1:47:28 PM: Victor:
click on the envelope and enter your address

1:47:35 PM: Victor:
on this page

1:47:48 PM: Victor:
You'll receive this record of our conversation

1:48:04 PM: Victor:
which you can review

1:48:41 PM: wesley:
ok, thanks. Can I ask you to ask Paul to email me our last coversation if it is not too much trouble

1:48:52 PM: Victor:
ok

1:48:54 PM: Victor:
will do

1:49:13 PM: Victor:
bye for now, Wesley

1:49:27 PM: wesley:
thanks Victor, bye for now

Ten days later you wrote us, asking about Herbal Life. Victor wrote back about the value of whole organic foods (which you had said were largely unavailable in South Africa) as opposed to depending on supplements. He also gave you some life-giving counsel:

How do some good businesses and worthwhile projects and movements begin? People see a need and begin to work toward meeting that need. You say organic food is scarce. How about turning that situation around? How about you doing what is needed? It won’t be easy by any means, but it’s possible and worthwhile.

“If you’re interested, count the cost; if you conclude you are willing and able to pay any cost (even if it kills you), then start; if you start, don’t ever quit, even if it quits on you. If you die, you die, but you’ll have given it your all, and that’s what counts. (This counsel of principles is barring that which may dictate you cease your effort for good reason.)

A month later you wrote back, focusing once again on your lack of faith and results rather than the Lord and His guarantee of life by following the instructions given you:

I do not know if you recall my situation regarding my educators and employers; you told me I must be honest and come forward with my evils. This I have done with my employers and the consequences are grim as expected. I believe I can no longer call the company my employer, I wrote them an email and spoke with them. They have supported me financially with the expectation that I would complete my studies and work for them. This , through my own doing, is no longer possible and I am required to refund them the money I owe. Not only them but the other loans I have incurred over the years.

To be honest my circumstances have not changed, but my attitude to some extent. I am determined to pay of all my debts through honest and respectable means, like Victor pointed out: the Bible says owe no man nothing. How I am going to do this, I do not know yet. With the reputation I have built up, any employer will be hard pressed and most likely reluctant to hire me. Yet I remain hopeful and choose to be positive. If any opportunity should arise, I would have no choice but to make the absolute best of it and to have learned from my past mistakes.

I still do not have a profession in mind, but I have a basic qualification that perhaps could put me in a position to work even in unrelated fields. Just like you pointed out, I have been entertaining thoughts of inability and blaming circumstances to run away from my responsibilities. It is true that I have not tried hard enough to better myself, speaking in terms of education and general skills, with all that the opportunities that I had access to... Somewhere I think it is Solomon who said, whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might...

Sorry, I am rambling on, the main reason I wanted to write to you guys were on the paper titled Holy waters. I see there the Syrian, Namaan, had leprosy which he wanted healing from. You compared this with the sins in our lives, I agree. Namaan had to come to holy waters of the Jordan not because the water was holy but because he could only receive healing from God with specific instruction appointed to him which he should execute with faith. I have many addictions and the big one is that I am very self absorbed.

How do you change your mind, behavior and outlook? Does it take years? Sure the Lord can do it at anytime whichever way He chooses, but in the mean time I must try and repent as well, no? Or am I over analyzing things. I find it funny, as you probably noticed I lack focus on staying on a train of thought. Whether this is a vice or some psychological problem I can't say, but please bare with me guys. Your input is very much appreciated and Jesus has most certainly appointed you guys in your roles, that much I know. Thanks once again for you're honesty and time.

One last point I should mention. I have learned to accepts ridicule, mockery and scorn, much of it, if not all rightly deserved. If anything I have learned some aspects of humility. There are many who look upon me with pity because of my plain stupidity and for a long time I pitied myself. No longer do I pity myself, things are the way they are and I will look towards God rather than the views of men, myself included. Lean not on your own understanding...

After a short note from us, you wrote back the next day:

Greetings Paul. There are many things on my mind and thoughts and ideas I want to share... I am a bit tired now and am typing this email from my phone right before I am going to bed. All I want to say is thanks, thats it thanks. I cant express the gratitude I feel thoroughly enough in words, but know this that I am deeply. No reply is required I just wanted you guys to know that. Slowly but surely I believe I will get there, one takes the path to arive at a destination...

I will say this, I do at times just nod my head at the truth because who can deny it? But the real deal is doing what is required, I for the most part struggle to follow through and act upon it. The difference now is that I acknowledge it and will attempt to change it. Even the little good I have done brings great reward how much more if I give it my all, no matter how little it is.

Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw closer to God and He will draw near to you...

Also from James, verse 5: if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Victor wrote back:

Hi Wesley,

To do the right in God’s sight is life, but to do the wrong is purest folly. Do the right, always, especially when it costs you, because that’s where the treasure is.

A year later we heard from you again:

From: Wesley Gafoor
Sent: January 21, 2012 2:16 PM
To: Victor Hafichuk
Subject: Re: Right and Wrong Doing; Life and Death Having

Hi Victor, how are you guys doing that side of the world? Just want to let you all know that things are going very well, I won't go into specific details but know that it was you guys that played a huge part in that. I have a rather embarrassing question to ask. See I have moved to a different city to work and study at the same time and I know very few people here; The thing is that I have gotten over my past disappointments and mistakes regarding women however now I am so hypersensitive to avoid any situation where in I might get hurt by getting involved with anyone. I live amongst other younger students and the sad thing is most of them are just after sexual desires, that being the case one can easily see that there is a promiscuous spirit in the air with movies from america like american pie driving the imaginations of our generation wild and reckless, out of control. My personal question is that it is so hard to meet a decent girl in these circumstances and to be perfectly honest... Well I am a man, I do have natural urges. The question is, can I relieve myself? This of course without trying to have impure thoughts. Or am I shooting a dead horse? Basically what I want to know is what does God think about it.

Victor answered:

Hi Wesley,

At our Sabbath meeting at the moment as I see your letter come. I’m not sure what you mean by relieving yourself, but if you mean fornication, of course it isn’t right. I hope you knew enough not to ask that. I expect you’re talking masturbation.

Now let me ask you a question: Is it right to give in to your lusts, however way you do it, or is it better to make yourself a eunuch? Would you masturbate in front of the Lord? Would you be comfortable with that? Does that answer your question?

Good to know that all is going well for you in certain respects. Don’t stop; don’t turn around; don’t compromise. The enemy will try every device possible to derail you. Look to the Lord, pray, give thanks for His mercy, faith and strength and provision of all things needful to complete the journey.

It’s all the way or nothing. God settles for nothing less than the cross. If you don’t die, you don’t resurrect, and His Resurrection is the only way to Life. How much attention and time are you spending at TPOT, where is the Truth and deliverance and strength and increase of faith by it?

You wrote back:

Thanks Victor

To the point as always. Yes I was referring to masturbation and thinking of it now and the way you phrase it I believe the act is wrong simply because I won't and can't do it in front of The Lord Jesus Christ... And God is everywhere. Bit tired now, was trying to sleep but waited for a immediate reply perhaps from you guys.

Yes the TPOT has provided many answers and I have spend a lot of time on there however not so much lately because I am no longer living with my parents and also I am busy trying to sort my life out. Anyway to make a long story short I have my answer.

Keep well Victor and may The Lord continue blessing you guys in whatever you do.

All the best, much love.

We didn’t hear from you till four years later, in May of 2016:

Why I am writing to you all, I hope that you will have the time and patience to respond, is that I am now as back then when I wrote you, lost. I am no longer depressed as then yet I wish to find meaning in this life, to find purpose. I am not sure if I am phrasing it correctly but hopefully you can give me guidance. What it is what I want to know is how to hear the voice of God. I know mainstream Christianity has got it completely wrong, that is that one can't simply pray a prayer "inviting Jesus into your heart and life", I think I also know that my "works" will not please the Lord and that one isn't saved through one self but only through Jesus. I think what I am asking is, how does one not sin anymore? As Jesus commanded to the woman at the well and more so what can I do in my capacity to live the way God commands us to live?

We wrote back:

Hi Wesley,

Yes, we have our correspondence with you on file (see below) and now see you’re back several years later, still grappling with what you heard from us in the beginning. You ask:

“What it is what I want to know is how to hear the voice of God?

“I think what I am asking is, how does one not sin anymore?

“As Jesus commanded to the woman at the well and more so what can I do in my capacity to live the way God commands us to live?”

You answered these questions in the first letter you sent us in December 2011, after reading from our site:

“I will say this, I do at times just nod my head at the truth because who can deny it? But the real deal is doing what is required, I for the most part struggle to follow through and act upon it. The difference now is that I acknowledge it and will attempt to change it. Even the little good I have done brings great reward how much more if I give it my all, no matter how little it is.

”Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw closer to God and He will draw near to you...

”Also from James, verse 5: if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

I add the next three verses, which are critical:

“But let him ask in faith, doubting nothing. For he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven by the wind and tossed. For do not let that man think that he shall receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, not dependable in all his ways” (James 1:6-8 MKJV).

You’ve been trifling with God, Wesley, having your feet planted in the world as you lean over the fence from time to time and peer at the world to come, which we now inhabit with all those who love the Lord Jesus Christ. True Christianity isn’t a spectator sport. You need to engage by the faith that is in Him, the One Whom we preach. Read Romans 10.

What more can be said? Confession without repentance is dead and deceitful.

[Tom Babcock]

Hi Wesley:
I have been helped by reading thought your correspondence here and can identify with a lot of it. One point that hit me was about Victor's last post about trifling with the Lord. I have seen it in times past, looking at things that were for sale that I wanted, enjoying taking up salespeople's time but having no real intention of committing to purchase. But now the Lord has made it clear that this is significant regarding my relationship with Him which has to be in truth. I have been a student of the word, researching many things; belonging to different groups that I came to realize were false, but not understanding the way forward. Your conversations and the replies have helped to identify a subterfuge where I pray the Lord will also grant me repentance.