Why should I change knowing the Good News
Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2017 8:20 pm
If all of mankind shall be redeemed then what's the point in anyone coming to God now? For example, take me, a lost soul searching for truth... scared of things to come, afraid the trials of the tribulation will bring out the worst in my character, the starvation and low blood sugar igniting the cranky bitter and angry, short tempered PMSing bitch that I can be on my worst days...snapping at my partner and children, hurting and in pain. From reading the bible, knowing that it's those who endure to the end by keeping his commandments and remaining in love for God and our neighbor, it's those who will be saved. Only on my best days am I able to love God and my neighbor. On tough days and especially on the PMS days, I turn ugly. I hate my partner, I hate my dwelling, I am depressed in fhis painful sleepy body and fearful that if a hostile situation arose as will in the end timez, that not only will I be overwhelmed with fear and hopelessness, anger at how God could allow su h tbings to happen, I will also feel desperate and enraged that I am too weak to flee or protect my children. I fool myself half the time thinking I'm on the right path, that I'm a good person and have love in my heart but the other half of the time I can see through the bullshit and I know that I am a lost selfish, and spoiled weak jezebel type of woman. Destined for eternal torment. Is there any good in me? Of course, I don't steal, I don't lie, I take care of my kids, I love them but fail to properly discipline. I care about the homeless, I help when I can. I do good when I have the energy to. But most days I'd rather be left alone, I'm not a fan of small talk, I can't stand to see my partners pride, his arrogance repulses me. Anyways, I'm rambling... I just don't get it, what's the point in all this? And if we will ALL be redeemed in the end, why should I continue to seek out pleasing God, especially when it's soooo difficult! I'm in a sexual relationship but not married, so sinning there. I am slothful, but I'm just so tired, but I sin because I am lazy not addressing discipline when I should be, not being as good a parent as I should, do I just accept it and not worry that I'm not following the commandments because it's too hard to live that way? Seems like I shouldn't worry about it since hell's not eternal anyways. Maybe if things get real tough in the end times, instead of being dragged to a fema concentration camp, we could all just pile in the car and die of carbon monoxide poisoning in the garage. Better than being separated from my children in fema camps. Why is fhis world so screwed up?