Never, never, but never underestimate the power of a haphazard explosion of a gas or gases (does it matter which?) from nowhere or somewhere, in space from somewhere or nowhere (who knows where?), by a spark from nowhere or somewhere!
Just give it all enough time – yes, yes, I know – billions of years – but who can argue with the results? Are they not worth the wait? Come on!
But of course, there was the timing, too. One would think that as a gas car motor can’t operate unless the spark applied to the fuel is precisely timed by a timing belt, so there must have been a timing to give us the “Big Bang.”
Hmmm, did time and timing also come from those gases? Amazing! Or was time there first?
Hmmm…the ability to amaze – did emotional perceptions come from an amazing big bang?
And where did “big” come from? You mean to tell me concepts like “size” came from inanimate, unintelligent exploding gases?
And where did “bang” come from? Wow – I must express myself!
Hey! Where did expression come from? And where did I get the ability to express? And ask questions? And poke? And poke around? Or am I just continuing an explosion?
Ask any evolutionist if princes come from frogs, and he or she will laugh in your face. Why? Because even a damned fool evolutionist would know princes – and indeed, all people – come from rocks, silly! Which come from exploding gases! How stupid can you get, believing fairytales? The High Priests and advocates of The Gas know better than that!
Know? Where did knowledge or ability to know come from? The Priests say, “From an Explosion of Gas (or something or somewhere, somehow).”
Anyway, let’s decide here and now to get back on track with butterflies. But wait! How do we get “decision-making” and “tracks” in a haphazard explosion? And how do we get to decide how to distinguish and choose tracks? Choice! Now there’s a thought!
Anyway, back on track…. Wait! Where did this “back” stuff come from – and forward, sideways, up and down, in and out – directions every which way…. Those gases sure pack a wallop, don’t they, in every direction?
Or is it an “It”? So we have singular and plural, too?
And numbers! May Big Bang Gas give you the power to think about the magic of numbers and how they work! All from a haphazard explosion of gases, or a Gas, from somewhere or nowhere, in something or nothing, which came from where, when, and how?
And…why? Why! You don’t ask why!
And speaking of “came,” so now we are coming and going! Or do we know? Where did those come from and how?
And speaking of “speaking,” one uses English, another Chinese, and another Hebrew. And one can learn other tongues?!
Do you speak wisdom or nonsense? And do you know the difference? How about our High Priests of Gas?
Here’s a question to speak, more specifically, ask: Why are the High Priests of Gas who they are? Do they really believe themselves? Do they have a conscience?
Conscience! Is that what they are trying to eliminate, or condition at least?
Tongues! Think of what we can do with tongues – speak, lick, clean, moisten, soothe, heal, whistle, taste, cool, choose, discern….
Wisdom? How does that work? From exploding gases that evolve over billions and billions of years, of course! So simple! So easy! So wise! Aren’t we learning! The gassier, the smarter.
Again, we must get back to butterflies. But wait! “Getting back”? What is that all about? Can we go back?
Hmmm…there are some, none, many, some times, some places….all from impersonal, unintelligent, lifeless gases or The Gas!
Wow! Gases and explosions amaze me, but why should I be surprised? They didn’t come from me – I came from them, with amazement, cynicism, and all! Isn’t that something? Or is it nothing but gas, like my Ancestor – The Gas?
Maybe somebody threw a monkey wrench into the works…or was that, a monkey?
But speaking of tongues, there’s more! What a chance coincidence! Most if not all animals have tongues and so do birds! And another coincidence – each animal has but one tongue, not many (that I know, not that I know much – I’ve only been at it passively for billions of years). Yet they have two wings, not one, two eyes rather than one or many, and dual matching limbs, not one – or three, matching! From gases exploding in perfect order, with matching patterns everywhere, repeating themselves in millions of patterns and in all species?
Just think! One finds symmetry in birds, insects, animals, people, and even plants, though the High Priests of Gas don’t seem to include plants in the equation of progress from Gas to explosion to rocks to humans, or do they? But what do I know? I’ve never been initiated into the Order of the High Priesthood of the Worship of Gas. I’m not even a lay person.
How does one become worthy of that esteemed calling? By faithfully touting the party line (like a beautifully-colored parrot with symmetry in feet, wings, bill, eyes, feathers, and tail)?
Symmetry! What an accident! See at least nine symmetries in the wings of a flutterby – in size, shape, thickness, operation, utility, speed, color, color pattern, and timing! 
Not only are the wings symmetrical, but the legs, eyes, antennae, and body proper, to make at least five diverse symmetries together.
Has anyone ever seen lightning strike the same spot, the same way, a million times a second? See all the plants, animals, birds, insects, and humans, all with symmetry and balance in so many ways at once! Gas! Ignition of Gas! Great and Expanding Explosion of Gas! How unfathomable you are! How brilliantly wise and reasonable are your priests! Shall I worship them, instead?
Thinking! How is it some can think and some can’t? Is there a supply Gas station somewhere for thought? Do our High Priests of Gas think? How deeply? How much? About what?
Back to butterflies…
But first, what about worthiness? Who judges worthiness? By what measure? Or is it all relative? Yes, that’s it, let’s just pool all this into that convenient, Gas-created (oops, let’s not swear now!) –exploded, booming, fizzing tank of stuff we call “relativity,” which has about as much relevance as, say, a rock to a flutterby, from which, of course, butterflies come, somehow – relatively speaking – with the relative wisdom of the High Priesthood of The Gas.
And what about colors! Where did those come from? Do explosions of gases form colors, as long as the gases are the right kind? What if they aren’t or It isn’t?
And how do we know about colors? Or did we invent them? If so, how and why? So that our existence as advancing rocks might be more enjoyable? Why “enjoy”? What is the point? And what is advancing? To what and where? And…why advance?
But butterflies? As opposed to what? Ants? Cockroaches? Worms? Maggots? And why don’t these others have cocoons? Don’t they want them? Don’t they want to fly, too? Or is it just the way the Gas went when it blew up?
Wanting! How did wanting start? Do the High Priests of Gas want to be somebody? Do they know what they want? Do they want to ask what and why they want?
So all these insects I just mentioned have names?! Where did they get those? From us gas-formed rocks turned thinking, creative (oops, sorry – exploded) princes, of course!
Butterflies…. And then you get brilliant color, geometric patterns, translucence, opaqueness, symmetry, huge variety, sexes (only two and not many), all with individualism, specific roles to play, reproductive powers (but only after their own kind [try and tell the Priests of Gas that]), peculiar attraction to flowers, pollination, metamorphosis from crawling to flying….
And of course to do and have those literally millions of things, we need – life! Who knew?! Isn’t Gas marvelous? I would say worthy to be worshipped in gratefulness for life and its many wonders of intricate design and operation, wouldn’t you?
With life also come powers of flight, instinct, sensitivity, thought, choice, interaction within and without species, egg-laying, specialized diet, sight, discernment, and preferences; there is the ability for, and variety in, migration, including precision seasonal timing, sense of direction, endurance, determination, the will to survive, and so much more. And all this from a happenstance explosion of gases! Who knew?!
Let us worship Exploding Gas and venerate Its priests, the evolutionists who have so graciously and wisely granted us such almighty, creative, artistic, articulate, absolutely astounding, astonishing, astronomical, analytical, anatomical asininity, uh, awareness, shall we?
Speaking of worship…where did that come from, how, and…why? And truly, if worship does exist, and it obviously does, what or who is worthy of it, and…why? And just how do we decide?
Where did “why” come from? Why can’t we just be perpetual, contented, unconscious specks of dust from an explosion? Why must we be eternally asking, “Why this and why that?” Can’t we drive ourselves mad that way?
What is madness, and why?
Great Gas, could you have at least spared us such decisions? “It was an accident,” you say? You didn’t mean it? Who are we to argue with our source and origin?
I wonder, do butterflies decide to spin a cocoon, or flap their wings to do what? Crawl, fly, what? What a complex, unfolding explosion! High Priests of Gas, please don’t be angry! Don’t blow up! Help us! We didn’t mean any of this! It “just happened”!
I hope you won’t be angry! This can be so confusing! I suppose that’s the nature of Gas.
Hmmm…hope? If I began as a senseless trajectory, how did I get here, and what am I hoping for? Did I need hope to get here? Can’t I simply continue the journey with contentment? And why am I hoping anyway?
Anger? The Gas continues to produce wondrous things, not always pleasant, huh! Don’t condemn us ignoramuses, O High Priests of The Exploding Gas – just love us!
Love! Are there really such things as caring, mercy, grace, understanding, patience, gentleness, meekness, temperance, self-control, faith, trust, hope, guilt, regret, skepticism, consideration, reconsideration, learning, compassion, joy, peace, unselfishness, and pleasure? If so, where did those come from, and…why?
Pleasure! What is that? So there are things that please and things that displease? Things that make us happy and unhappy? Interested and bored? All from gases! Oh, my! Wonders and miracles will never cease, will they? Chance and accident produce all things that exist, over and over and over again, so much that they must implode!
Is there such a thing as concern for another? What for? I thought it was a matter of survival of the fittest! Where is there any room for love there? Why bother? Why? Why? Why.
Still hurling through some space I chanced upon somewhere,
Victor Hafichuk
